Just an observation, and wondering if others notice it too...

Do male BS's have an easier time recognizing, implementing, and sticking with Plan B?

2nd question -- how long is too long for Plan A?

Plan B seems to be eaiser on me. I avoid the pain, but I was also forced into plan B really, so it's hard to say. As for how long is too long for Plan A? I think every situation is different, but after 1year you would really have to evaluate your progress.

Lexxy,

I'm not sure about question #1. Plan B was hard on me, and I didn't stick to it perfectly. I've seen women on the boards who have done pretty well in Plan B too.

As to the timing of Plan A, I think that if you are facing an active affair and living with the wayward spouse, you really ought to try Plan A for at least a couple months (assuming that you have 'marital deficiencies' and can make a go at changing your behavior). Harley generally recommends 6 months as the upper limit. There are cases in which you can Plan A for longer (usually they involve a separation by the WS). The transition from Plan A to Plan B should be made before you lose all love for your spouse, and that should be the primary driving factor. The three month minimum is basically long enough for most people to learn the skills (if they're being coached) and to establish a track record of new behavior with their wayward spouse.