I too cried when i read Spacecase's responses....it has been so long and I simply don't understand why. What happend to make him so angry, unhappy, and cruel. Although my H was never a romantic, I used to feel like he really cared. Now all he cares about is himself.

I was planning on talking to my H tonight about attending a MB seminar and what it would be like, see if he was interested, only to find out that the one that was listed on the web site has been cancelled so......... yes I realize that it takes both people to make it work, but I was so looking forward to the chance of remembering first hand what being in love felt like again.

I really don't know where to go from here. My plan was to talk to him about MB and if he was non-responsive, I was going to ask him for a D.

I would like to wait until I can find out if it is worth it to him to make the effort to save our marriage. I have tried to get him to counseling, we went once and the female counselor virtually told him he was a jerk and that he needed to straighten up. He refuses to go down that road again.

He refuses to talk to a christian counselor because of his upbringing, his parents were Elders in the Church and he was "overloaded" and now makes the choice for himself. No Church.

I adopted the "Surrendered Wife" Philpsophy and while it has taught me alot about myself and I think that I am a better person because of it, things between my H and I have not changed.

So now I found MB and wanted to go to the seminar in November, it has been cancelled, so what am I left with. Wait until they have another seminar close to here, or ask for a D?

He wouldn't listen to the tapes as suggested in a previous post, I have tried that route too so what should I do?

FM;
You cannot place your fate in the hands of factors external to you. (a seminar, H wanting to go to counseling, or to MB). You must work on YOU, making yourself better, finding out what your H's ENs are, trying to fulfill them, same for LBs, take a good look at yourself, find out where you could be better, and work on that for now.

There's nothing else you CAN do. For now, work on the things YOU can control; and that is YOU!

In time, things will begin to change, you will feel better about yourself, more secure, more sure of what you want, more humble for what you will find, and overall a better person; a more desirable W. If during this time his head clears, he begins to see the changes, he may then want to take on Cing or MB, or rebuilding your M, working on himself to make himslef a better H for you.

But for now; it is YOU! Your turn. Now do something nice for yourself this weekend.

Then read all you can here on MB; the articles, Q&A, and get a hold of SAA and other Harley books. Read, learn, improve. Time to take care of FM for a little while. A big hug! and remember we're here for you...come back often.