After 10 years of marriage, my wife and kids leave me, How do I get them back?, what do I say? or do? Its driving me crazy everyday. She said she needs time and space. Its been 3 weeks now. They are my life. She has alot of hurt to deal with and won't forgive me. Neither of us cheated or anything like that, its just 10 years of my stupidity. We both are Christians and love and serve God. Thanks for reading, looking forward to any ideas. Brent

Time to start reading. Read through the MB site on emotional needs (EN's). Grab some of Dr. Harley's books and read them. You have some time on your hands now, use it wisely.

Many marriages go through this kind of thing. Unfortunately, for most of us here, one of the spouses cheated when things got bad. Be fortunate your wife shook you up by leaving instead of looking for another man and holding the pain in.

You are not alone. We all have made similiar mistakes. Remember 10 years means there is quite of bid of unwinding and repairing to do. You need to work on yourself and make some concrete lasting changes. She will recognize this. Do not try to beg her to come back or go through long circular arguments. Try not to do any love busting (LB). Love busting is any action that will cause your wife discomfort, pain, etc. (basically any negative feeling) when you get a chance to talk to her.

"How to get wife back?" .... this is an interesting way for you to phrase your question. And, BDS, thinking about HOW you wrote your question may unlock some door to working on your painful dilemma.

You can't "get" your wife back. You don't have that power. She has the right and the duty to make her own choices. Do you agree, she has this right and this duty?

Try asking this question instead of the question you originally asked...

"How can I develop MYSELF into a better man, and a more attractive spouse/partner for my wife?"

What do you think about this?

((hugs))

Pepper <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

<small>[ July 18, 2002, 11:04 AM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>