Here you go!
Just copy and paste it to a word processor and add spaces, etc. so it's more "readable".
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> MARRIAGEBUILDERS.COM
Love Busters
Questionnaire
Copyright © 1992 by Willard F. Harley, Jr.
Name__________________________________ Date__________________________
This questionnaire is designed to help identify your spouse’s Love Busters. Your spouse
engages in a Love Buster whenever one of his or her habits causes you to be unhappy. By
causing your unhappiness, he or she withdraws love units from his or her account in your Love
Bank, and that, in turn threatens your romantic love.
There are five categories of Love Busters. Each category has its own set of questions in
this questionnaire. Answer all the questions as candidly as possible. Do not try to minimize
your unhappiness with your spouse’s behavior. If your answers require more space use and
attach a separate sheet of paper.
Your spouse should also complete a Love Busters Questionnaire so that you can discover
your own Love Busters.
When you have completed this questionnaire, go through it a second time to be certain
your answers accurately reflect your feelings. Do not erase your original answers, but cross
them out lightly so that your spouse can see the corrections and discuss them with you.
The final page of this questionnaire asks you to rank the five Love Busters in order of
importance to you. When you complete the ranking of the Love Busters, you may find that your
answers to the questions regarding each Love Buster are inconsistent with your final ranking.
This inconsistency is common. It often reflects a less than perfect understanding of your
feelings. If you notice inconsistencies, discuss them with your spouse to help clarify your
feelings..Love Buster Questionnaire
MARRIAGEBUILDERS.COM
56
1. Angry Outbursts. Deliberate attempts by your spouse to hurt you because of anger
toward you. They are usually in the form of verbal or physical attacks.
A. Angry Outbursts as a Cause of Unhappiness: Indicate how much unhappiness you
tend to experience when your spouse attacks you with an angry outburst.
0 1 2 3 4 5 6
________________________________________________________________________
I experience I experience I experience
no unhappiness moderate unhappiness extreme unhappiness
B. Frequency of Spouse’s Angry Outbursts: Indicate how often your spouse tends to
engage in angry outbursts toward you.
______________ angry outbursts (write number) each day/week/month/year (circle one).
C. Form(s) Angry Outbursts Take(s): When your spouse engages in angry outbursts
toward you, what does he/she typically do?
D. Form(s) of Angry Outbursts That Cause the Greatest Unhappiness: Which of
the above forms of angry outbursts cause you the greatest unhappiness?.Love Buster Questionnaire
MARRIAGEBUILDERS.COM
57
2. Disrespectful Judgments. Attempts by your spouse to change your attitudes, beliefs and
behavior by trying to force you into his/her way of thinking. If (1) he/she lectures you
instead of respectfully discusses issues, (2) feels that his/her opinion is superior to yours, (3)
he/she talks over you or prevents you from having a chance to explain your position, or (4)
he/she ridicules your point of view, engaging in disrespectful judgments.
A. Disrespectful Judgments as a Cause of Unhappiness: Indicate how much you
unhappiness you tend to experience when your spouse engages in disrespectful judgment
toward you.
0 1 2 3 4 5 6
________________________________________________________________________
I experience I experience I experience
no unhappiness moderate unhappiness extreme unhappiness
B. Frequency of Spouse’s Disrespectful Judgments: Indicate how often your spouse
tends to engage in disrespectful judgments toward you.
______________ disrespectful judgments (write number) each day/week/month/year
(circle one).
C. Form(s) Disrespectful Judgments Take(s): When your spouse engages in
disrespectful judgments toward you, what does he/she typically do?
D. Form(s) of Disrespectful Judgments That Cause the Greatest Unhappiness:
Which of the above forms of disrespectful judgments cause you the greatest unhappiness?.Love Buster Questionnaire
MARRIAGEBUILDERS.COM
58
3. Annoying Behavior. The two basic types of annoying behavior are habits and activities.
Habits are repeated without much thought, such as the way your spouse eats or sits in a
chair. Activities are usually scheduled and require thought to complete, such as attending
sporting events or a personal exercise program. Habits and activities are “annoying
behavior” if they cause you to feel unhappy. They can be as innocent as snoring or as
destructive as infidelity or alcohol addiction.
A. Annoying Behavior as a Cause of Unhappiness: Indicate how much unhappiness
you tend to experience when your spouse engages in annoying behavior.
0 1 2 3 4 5 6
________________________________________________________________________
I experience I experience I experience
no unhappiness moderate unhappiness extreme unhappiness
B. Frequency of Spouse’s Annoying Behavior: Indicate how often your spouse tends
to engage in annoying behavior.
______________ annoying behaviors (write number) each day/week/month/year (circle
one).
C. Form(s) Annoying Behavior Take(s): When your spouse engages in annoying
behavior, what does he/she typically do?
D. Form(s) of Annoying Behavior That Cause the Greatest Unhappiness: Which of
the above forms of annoying behavior cause you the greatest unhappiness?.Love Buster Questionnaire
MARRIAGEBUILDERS.COM
59
4. Selfish Demands. Attempts by your spouse to force you to do something for him/her,
usually with implied threat of punishment if you refuse.
A. Selfish Demands as a Cause of Unhappiness: Indicate how much unhappiness you
tend to experience whe n your spouse makes selfish demands of you.
0 1 2 3 4 5 6
________________________________________________________________________
I experience I experience I experience
no unhappiness moderate unhappiness extreme unhappiness
B. Frequency of Spouse’s Selfish Demands: Indicate how often your spouse tends to
make selfish demands of you.
_____________ selfish demands (write number) each day/week/month/year (circle one).
C. Form(s) Selfish Demands Take(s): When your spouse makes selfish demands of
you, what does he/she typically do?
D. Form(s) of Selfish Demands That Cause the Greatest Unhappiness: Which of the
above forms of selfish demands cause you the greatest unhappiness?.Love Buster Questionnaire
MARRIAGEBUILDERS.COM
60
5. Dishonesty. Failure of your spouse to reveal his/her thoughts, feelings, habits, likes,
dislikes, personal history, daily activities, and plans for the future. Dishonesty is not only
providing false information about any of the above topics, but it is also leaving you with
what he/she knows is a false impression.
A. Dishonesty as a Cause of Unhappiness: Indicate how much unhappiness you tend
to experience when your spouse is dishonest with you.
0 1 2 3 4 5 6
________________________________________________________________________
I experience I experience I experience
no unhappiness moderate unhappiness extreme unhappiness
B. Frequency of Spouse’s Dishonesty: Indicate how often your spouse tends to be
dishonest with you.
______________ instances of dishonesty (write number) each day/week/month/year
(circle one).
C. Form(s) Dishonesty Take(s): When your spouse is dishonest with you, what does
he/she typically do?
D. Form(s) of Dishonesty That Cause the Greatest Unhappiness: Which of the
above forms of dishonesty cause you the greatest unhappiness?.Love Buster Questionnaire
MARRIAGEBUILDERS.COM
61
Ranking of Your Spouse’s
Love Busters
The five basic categories of Love Busters are listed below. There is also space for you to add
other categories of Love Busters you feel contribute to your marital unhappiness, but are not
included in the list. In the space provided in front of each Love Buster, write a number from 1 to
5 that ranks its relative contribution to your unhappiness. Write a “1” before the Love Buster
that causes you the greatest unhappiness, a “2” before one causing the next greatest unhappiness,
and so on until you have ranked all five.
Angry Outbursts
Disrespectful Judgments
Annoying Behavior
Selfish Demands
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
