I haven't posted too much about my situation lately. I've been lurking/reading occasionally and posting when I think I might be able to help someone else.
I really feel like my wife and I turned a big corner this weekend. Friday and Saturday we attended events for my high school reunion - lunch with guys/coaches from baseball team, bbq w/close friends, dinner/dance next night, etc. Since my wife was in the class behind me, she knows most of the people in my class, too, so it was a reunion for her as well.
Saturday afternoon we went shopping. I bought my wife an
awesome dress (one that I picked out <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ) and some really cool earrings. As we were driving to the dinner, I told her how great she looked. She said she felt like a princess. I replied that I always tried to treat her that way, and she looked over and said, really lovingly, "I know. You always have." I melted just a little bit.
We arrived at the hotel, started running into old friends. These are people who knew us when we were first together, and more than one remarked how seeing us still together made them feel good because they always thought we were made for each other. That sentiment really hit home for both of us after all we've been through lately.
It was a great night. My wife looked absolutely
stunning - had to tell a couple of my buddies to get their jaws off the floor! It was great to see her enjoying herself so much, and she said later how it brought back so many great memories of our relationship over the years and how much love we felt for each other from the start.
Last night was our 24th anniversary. Considering the fact that I thought our marriage was over after d-day #2 (3 months ago), I never imagined then that we would even acknowledge our anniversary, much less celebrate it. But we
did celebrate! It felt like it always did before - it felt right, and real.
She gave me a poignant card that summed up everything beautifully. It said, "Love, incredibly fragile, infinitely strong, is reborn today. Happy Anniversary." Then she added, "I am so grateful for our renewed love and hope for the future. Thank you for loving me through everything and for
never giving up on me! I will always love you for that. I continue to pray for a long, joyful life together. You are my dream come true! Love forever, W." I can't tell you how much I've been longing to have her express those words to me. I feel so much love for her right now.
I am at a place today that seemed unreachable just a short time ago. Despair and desperation have given way to hope and joy. I have a renewed awareness of God's incredible gifts to us, especially love and grace. I know that unbridled trust has been replaced by cautious optimism, but I can live with that. I firmly believe that God meant for us to be together, and who are we to question His wisdom?
I credit you wonderful people at this MB forum for saving my marriage. Yes, my wife and I still have work to do, but the things I have learned through the collective wisdom and insight of all who post here will help us to continue in the healing of our relationship. I am deeply grateful to you all.
My prayer is that this post will resonate with those who find themselves in the pit of despair, who have lost all hope for a loving marriage. I was there, and not long ago.
God
can heal. His grace is so awesome. And hope is something that we all have to hold onto, no matter what, because He can do amazing things!
"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has ever conceived what God has planned for those who love him." 1 Cor. 2:9
God's love and blessings to you all.
<small>[ August 13, 2002, 02:08 PM: Message edited by: shattered in SF ]</small>
