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#1021711 08/13/02 01:40 PM
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I haven't posted too much about my situation lately. I've been lurking/reading occasionally and posting when I think I might be able to help someone else.

I really feel like my wife and I turned a big corner this weekend. Friday and Saturday we attended events for my high school reunion - lunch with guys/coaches from baseball team, bbq w/close friends, dinner/dance next night, etc. Since my wife was in the class behind me, she knows most of the people in my class, too, so it was a reunion for her as well.

Saturday afternoon we went shopping. I bought my wife an awesome dress (one that I picked out <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ) and some really cool earrings. As we were driving to the dinner, I told her how great she looked. She said she felt like a princess. I replied that I always tried to treat her that way, and she looked over and said, really lovingly, "I know. You always have." I melted just a little bit.

We arrived at the hotel, started running into old friends. These are people who knew us when we were first together, and more than one remarked how seeing us still together made them feel good because they always thought we were made for each other. That sentiment really hit home for both of us after all we've been through lately.

It was a great night. My wife looked absolutely stunning - had to tell a couple of my buddies to get their jaws off the floor! It was great to see her enjoying herself so much, and she said later how it brought back so many great memories of our relationship over the years and how much love we felt for each other from the start.

Last night was our 24th anniversary. Considering the fact that I thought our marriage was over after d-day #2 (3 months ago), I never imagined then that we would even acknowledge our anniversary, much less celebrate it. But we did celebrate! It felt like it always did before - it felt right, and real.

She gave me a poignant card that summed up everything beautifully. It said, "Love, incredibly fragile, infinitely strong, is reborn today. Happy Anniversary." Then she added, "I am so grateful for our renewed love and hope for the future. Thank you for loving me through everything and for never giving up on me! I will always love you for that. I continue to pray for a long, joyful life together. You are my dream come true! Love forever, W." I can't tell you how much I've been longing to have her express those words to me. I feel so much love for her right now.

I am at a place today that seemed unreachable just a short time ago. Despair and desperation have given way to hope and joy. I have a renewed awareness of God's incredible gifts to us, especially love and grace. I know that unbridled trust has been replaced by cautious optimism, but I can live with that. I firmly believe that God meant for us to be together, and who are we to question His wisdom?

I credit you wonderful people at this MB forum for saving my marriage. Yes, my wife and I still have work to do, but the things I have learned through the collective wisdom and insight of all who post here will help us to continue in the healing of our relationship. I am deeply grateful to you all.

My prayer is that this post will resonate with those who find themselves in the pit of despair, who have lost all hope for a loving marriage. I was there, and not long ago.

God can heal. His grace is so awesome. And hope is something that we all have to hold onto, no matter what, because He can do amazing things!

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has ever conceived what God has planned for those who love him." 1 Cor. 2:9

God's love and blessings to you all.

<small>[ August 13, 2002, 02:08 PM: Message edited by: shattered in SF ]</small>

#1021712 08/13/02 02:17 PM
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SISF:

This is great to hear! I'm very happy for you and your W. Keep up the good work!

regards,

#1021713 08/13/02 03:24 PM
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SISF,

Congratulations on your anniversary. It is soo good to see that you and W are recoverying and she is beginning to have that faith in you that she should.

Now could you get the fog to come back? It is getting a little toasty over here across the bay. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

God Bless,

JL

#1021714 08/13/02 03:41 PM
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<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

#1021715 08/13/02 05:19 PM
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2L - Thanks. I think of you often. Hope things will turn positive for you in a big way - and soon! You deserve it.

JL - No! No more fog! My wife's finally coming out of the stuff!

K - <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> (thanks)

#1021716 08/13/02 06:23 PM
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Pass me the klenex will you .... <------ <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ------> RH-

#1021717 08/13/02 06:35 PM
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SISF;

An AWESOME piece of news, and indeed it offers new-found hope to many of us. Thank you for sharing such a wonderful moment...I have faith that I, too, will one day be able to post something like it.

Thank you.

#1021718 08/13/02 11:56 PM
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RH - you were the first person who responded to me when I found MB and steered me onto the right track. I'll always be grateful to you for that.

SC - I have faith in you, too.

#1021719 08/14/02 06:12 PM
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Sisf,

Good to hear from you and with such good news. Slo and steady......glad to hear you are both on the right course.

Wishing happiness to you both. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

L.

#1021720 08/14/02 07:32 PM
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Thanks, Orchid, and right back atcha! Glad to see some semblance of sanity has returned to your household as well! Slo and steady...you're so right.

Be well.

#1021721 08/14/02 08:42 PM
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SISF - Congrats on your anniversary! I have been reading your posts for a few months because of your "church connection". I am trying to have faith for my marriage in the same way and you are a great example to keep at it!

There are questions I'd like to ask about how your church handled this, as far as any disclosure, but I'm hesitant to post them. Obviously I have reasons for asking! Has this subject (disclosure for church) been posted anywhere on this site that I might have missed? If not, would you be open to an e-mail? (If not, that's OK)

#1021722 08/14/02 08:54 PM
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SISF,
Your post was so incredibly moving. How happy I am for you!
Thank you for sharing it, it is such an inspiration for those of us still struggling. I pray for continued love for you and your W.

#1021723 08/14/02 09:49 PM
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Avondale, pb - thanks for your kind words. Sorry your situations are what they are. I'll be praying for you both.

As far as disclosure in the church, there wasn't any. Only W, OM and I know. Reasons:

- It would rip the church apart. Literally.
- We'd probably have to move since my W is too well known in our community. Humiliation and all.
- W resigned immediately, OM has also now and will be moving away any day now. No lingering "cancer" or hypocrisy on the staff.
- Youngest son leads a lot of youth worship there. Couldn't happen if A known.
- In the immortal words of Yul Brinner, "Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera."

I realize our situation is a little different than most, but this seemed the best way to handle it for all concerned. I'm still a little ticked that my silence is protecting OM as well, but that's the way it goes. Helps me learn more about grace, I suppose. Through it all, I'm just glad I have a faith that sustains me. Don't know where I'd be, otherwise.

#1021724 08/14/02 09:51 PM
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SF -
Wow - I am so happy for you and your wife. You are incredibly strong and resilient!
My marriage is back on track as well, and it is such a wonderful feeling - falling in love again - feeling grounded again....sigh.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

#1021725 08/14/02 10:12 PM
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Thanks, Alberta - so happy the "ILY's" are back in your life - hopefully forever!


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