H just called. We're in Plan B and haven't seen each other or spoken for 3 weeks. OW was here for 2 weeks - she left Thursday. We agreed he would contact me aftyer she left. We're meeting in half an hour to go for a walk around the lake. I'm simply shaking. Need to hold my own and no LBs. Had to post, just to get rid of some of the nervous energy. <P>

Good luck!

Roberta - <P>Hi. I was in a similar situation a few weeks back. W came over (unexpectedly...even after the plan B no contact letter) and I had to talk calmly with her impromtu. Although I was an emotional train wreck on the inside, I was calm and cool on the outside. I honestly believe that God helped me express myself in a manner that included no lovebusters, but only showed my love for my wife. I too was quaking on the inside.<P>Lean on Christ if you're a Christian. Expect to hear some hurtful things but respond with kindness and love even so. Good Luck - let us know how it turns out.

5:36 pm praying for you right now. It's raining here - hope you aren't walking in a thunderstorm.<P>Praying the Holy Spirit gives you the words to speak as you need them.<P>God Bless.

Thanks to all of you for your thoughts. It really gave me courage and strength. Just got home. We'd still be talking, but the rain started...<P>Well, I did no LB's!!!! Yea! We are back in Plan B because he is still communicating with OW. I agreed to contact him when I got back from my vacation on 10/1/99. Told him if he's still communicating with OW when I return, its back to Plan B. He understands that. <P>But there were some really good moments. He said he'd be willing to do joint counseling "in a second" with me. He says he still loves me. He is starting to be able to articulate his emotional needs. He's done some really hard work since we last saw each other (3 weeks ago) and appologized for the hurt he caused me, even admitted he didn't think he'd ever totally win my trust back, but would go so far as to be totally accountable for his time. He's leaning towards owning his part of this and the bad choice he made.<P>I asked him if OW was coming to stay here (she had a job offer). He said it is so complicated to make that happen that if he had to bet, he would bet that it won't happen. I asked if he was going to go there to live with her - he said highly unlikely. He's even thinking about not going back to England in October for his class (they are both registered for it). <P>Man, I don't know where this is going, but it ended up with the best kiss we've had since May(no not THAT passionate) standing in the pouring rain. He also said as we were parting "I know you're my best friend". <P>Thanks again Shattered, TNT and HurtandConfused. More to come.