Hi again,
I'm new to posting (posted my story last week for the 1st time), but have been reading tons on this site. In a nutshell, I found out on 7/4 that H is having an affair. The typical, loves me but not in love with me, etc. He moved into the basement TV room 2mths ago and will be moving out 10/1 into an apt (though he hasn't found one yet).

I've been Plan A'ing and doing relatively well. We're getting along, but I'm also trying to distance myself from him because he has been drinking more and more too. In the evenings is when he starts in on me with the blame game, etc.

This past thursday nite we got into a real bad argument (regarding 3yo DD and her clinginess to me/bedtime issues, etc) and it just escalated from there. He went off about not loving me and I just laid into him about the OW. He said we're just friends and I said cut the bullsh*t, friends don't give each other jewelry, kiss (all he's admitted to), etc. Finally admitted he "loved her". Told him I was helping him to find an apt because he needed to get out. Can't continue to live like this. He also threw back in my face a comment about "the kiss". We had an intimate kiss last week, which was nice. We had been talking, I asked for a hug, then he asked for a kiss. During this argument, I said "you asked for the kiss"...to which he replied, "I must have been drunk". At that point I told him to GET OUT of my sight and other choice words.

In the morning I found this on the kitchen counter...

"Maybe we're done, maybe we're not-
But the times we've had have meant alot
Wherever we go, whatever we do,
To have such a wonderful daughter is sooo you.
I'm sorry our love has taken this questionable way-
but promise you won't question it was you day to day.
We're not what we were, perhaps someday we'll be
not two individuals, but just you & me.
It'll be a long road, perhaps maybe it's done-
but let's stay real for DD and we'll both have had won.
Had to take a break because I was crying-
and not did I care that my tears are not drying.
I miss the times we've had but not the ones unpleasant-
If this will ever work it'll be unto God, his blessed present.
I struggled at the end - ran out of the words-
just keep pleasant thoughts and the songs of the birds."

I don't know what to think about that...during the course of the day he emailed me numerous times but I never responded (wasn't home, busy w/ an out of town friend). The last email said please give DD kisses and talk to her about me so she doesn't forget me. My love to you both (he had overnite plans).

Then, of course, yesterday he was pleasant for a while, then the bedtime issues happened w/ dd, add in a little drinking and he just went off on me again. Called me crazy and "sick" for the way I handle and control our DD. Can't win...

This morning he was pleasant, but I had left him information regarding apts. I hope this separation will give him the time he needs to realize what and who are important to him. I certainly can't stay on this rollercoaster much longer without losing it myself.

Is this normal WH fog behavior?? I know he's still in an active A w/ the OW as well. He wears a shark pendant on his chain that he gave her. I would love to rip it off in his sleep and make him swallow it! LOL!

Thanks for listening and any advice would be appreciated. I will continue to Plan A while separated as I am feeling much better about myself, even though my life seems to be falling down around me.