Boy have I been down in the dumps lately... it is making me where I don't want to do anything. But I put one foot in front of the other and did a little project I had been putting off and WOW... what a difference.

I had an old bookcase that was a little warped due to some water damage I think... who knows I have had it so long and moved too many times.. .anyway, I got this idea a month or 2 back to cover it with fabric. WOW! I did this , this afternoon and boy did it boost my spirits.. I moved it by my desk and now I am going to cover some nice cardboard magazine holders with matching fabric and it will look so nice and organized. (I am way too much of a paper person due to at home business and just paper is everywhere... because of that my studious nature... maybe a bit of a pack rat although I hate to admit it....)

Anyway , Stuff is just taking over my life and I am starting to attack that stuff! WOW, does that feel good. It get s so overwhelming with the depression over being alone and having to do it all alone.. earn the money, cook, clean, kids... AGGHHH! Can I scream!

ANyway, One foot in front of the other it is. I am working on doing what I need to do regardless of him!

Hugs and hope to all of you, HONEY <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

good for you, you want to come to my house and organize?? I have way too much "stuff" laying around as well, I somehow feel the need to clip every article or recipe that I think I might look at out of magazines or newspapers. they are all in huge piles.

I might as well just throw them away, if I am looking for something quickly I will just look on the internet anyway!!

I like the idea of covering the bookshelf with fabric, I never thought of that. I saw a picture in a magazine where there was an old bakers cabinet with glass doors, they had covered the shelves and the insides with fabric to match the kitchen and it looked so pretty!! I have thought about doing something like that.

thanks GC, it was sooo easy. I think I kept telling myself it was going to be too hard. I used a staple gun and I am going to replace the staples on the front..and use a glue gun in the next few days so there are no staples to be seen...

(I just did the side of the bookcase and the front edges... )- So now I am thinking of making a curtain like front on it.. since it will hold all sorts of junk. It is very pretty...already...

Now for the rest of the room! Unfortunately I have a great room, well it is nice.. but it has computer desk, sitting area.coach and a couple of nice wicker chairs. a nice booksheleve with the glass doors and then a piano... it is a little crowded.

I am also thinking of maybe at least seperating the desk area with a room divider.. what are those 3 hinged things called.. my brain is getting warped - and that could be fabric covered too.

Tonight I have slated to work on a suit I was sewing for myself. I figure , why not improve MY LIFE? No one else is.

I bet you are not as junked out as I... I have toys and toys and clothes and clothes. I used to be a recipe saver too! Now I just have one cabinet in the kitchen full of cookbooks and recipes I have saved.

I need to have that terrible garage sale I dread. TOnight I am going to try to gather boxes from the grocery store and then put old clothes and toys in boxes for my sale of the century to come.

Also If I can get my digital camera fixed.. on my list... I can sell some of this stuff on ebay.

Hugs to you.. Hope you have had a good day...

I am considering taking the boys to a movie.. they are back now, but don't know if we can agree on one.

taLK TO YOU LATER... h <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Honey - good for you - doing stuff around the house - changing stuff can be great therapy - since my husband left I have painted every room in the house - basically I have changed everything that he didn't want done - I bought new bedding, new shower curtain and stuff - stuff that me and the girls like - I kind of made my house different - because I wanted change - and let me tell you it was great therapy...he used to do all of the painting and stuff but you know what I am quite capable <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> and it was fun... So did your boys go with their Dad??? Life is definately different when you are by yourself and I can hear your frustration with being in charge of everything - Actually my husband see the girls on Tuesday nights for an 1 1/2 and they sleep over Friday nights and he says I didn't abandon them - now he doesn't even call on the other days - now to myself I think - you it is a good thing that I didn't abandon them like him - don't you think??? You know if you are starting to feel crafty - just throw on the H G Tv Channel - they have all sorts of neat and nifty things to do.... Well hope you are continuing with your good day... Bye

Thanks Maw, I think I got inspired by watching first a bbc channel... british broadcasting... I usually do not watch it, and they had the same kind of home dec shows we have with a british flair... there were also a couple of interesting brit. movies....

AGH. I watched one about adultery and today went and saw one hour photo. Can we escape adultery? it is a horrible thing, and it is awful that men feel this is ok.

I am sorry about your h and his 2x a week contact. My h had the boys for one night this weekend one night last weekend and will have them all next weekend because I am going on an MK retreat for work and spiritual and rejuvination. I need it, and it will I am sure get me a bit out of this sadness funk.

I hate that I have really caught myself stress and comfort overeating due to this mess. I am so unhappy with my weight I could die, not really... but I am.

I am giong to start working out daily again and watching my diet again tomorrow... WOW! I have blown my diet off the charts lately.

I am tired of letting my h and the things he does and says make me feel so bad. He used to love me so much, I know a lot of my self esteem came from that unfortunately. I felt so much stronger with him by my side, and when it all falls apart, it is just too much ....

Anyway, I am sorry you are having trouble with x, glad you are doing fine and taking care of you and your home for you and your girls.

Hugs, HOney

HOney - Actually I think that I am better when I just plain do not talk to him.. You sound like me in the respect that you were a wife and a mother and you were happy like that but - you - there is no you left... You don't even know who you are.. That is why now I get my nails done.. I have been making my kids go with their father so I can have some alone time.. I am trying to do things that I would have never done before - I am independent and I just need to get used to that idea... My husband wants to be best friends - kind of hang out and talk whenever he feels the need - and the problem I have with that is that he acts as though none of this has ever taken place.. Which I think is his way of not dealing with what he did to me... I don't think he likes himself - he thinks that he is going to be happy but I think he is just fooling himself he gave up so much - but my problem is that I keep worrying about him and I have to stop that he is not my concern anymore and this is what he wanted - not me... Anyways - the overeating will pass - I tend to have the same problem - I actually joined Curves but I got up to late to go today - so I will go for the rest of the week... now if I could just get the diet going with the excercising I would be ok... and on track... Ok must go to the busstop.... We need to start worrying about us only and not them... They really aren't worth it at this point... Bye Mimi

Good for you! When I was first in counseling 7 years ago (when I thought my H's affair was EA only), my counselor told me to start a creative project. She told me it's therapy and very important. I do like crafts-quilting, needlework, art-painting, drawing, etc. I now realize just how right she was. At the time I was too 'sick' to work on anything. But now I am itching to do something crafty. I had a baby 4 mos ago and I keep telling myself I have to start something I can work on when she naps.

It feels good to get rid of clutter doesn't it? My house is buried in baby stuff right now. I don't mind that, but the other stuff is starting to annoy me! My H's old weight room is going to be my baby's room. I can't wait to start working on it, but he has to shuffle junk around to find another spot for his weights.

Good luck to you!