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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 816
W
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You give me hope when all my other sources seem dry. My hearty thanks to you all.

Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816
2
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You're welcome!!! Glad we could help!

Hang in there <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 966
J
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Yeah, this is "hard stuff"... but it does get easier with time and healing. Your timeline shows it's just started... hang in there!

Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,517
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Hey coguy,

Tell us how you are doing. How has the new job worked out? Has WW done no contact letter yet?

Are you still at the "crap" job part time?

I see you post but I haven't read every one of yours and don't realy know how you are doing. You seem positive and that is good but that might just be your attitide. What is really happening?

Have you figured out what you needed to to to improve marriage, and are you doing it?

I usually go on and on, but really just was wondering what is happening with you.

SS

Joined: Sep 2002
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W
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 816
Text removed by author. Call me paranoid. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

<small>[ October 25, 2002, 08:13 PM: Message edited by: whippit ]</small>

Joined: May 2002
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I have a very few suggestions,

W ...I re-read the email in question last night and I can understand why you would be so upset. I said some horrible things. I'm sorry I said them. I'm sorry you saw them. but they were my feelings at the time and I can't change them or the fact than I vocalized them. Mostly, I'm sorry I said them. Please understand that it was a vent to my confidant ... a way of "counting to 10" before I did something really stupid. In fact, you didn't see the subsequent emails that he and I exchanged after I went to work that consisted of me telling him not to worry ... that my mouth would stay shut, because that's the right thing to do and doing anything else wouldn't help anyone get through this any easier. Since July (my buddy has been the equivalent to your girlfriend), so when I need to unload he hears it. He often empathizes with me. He usually lends me a clear head. He always helps me sort out my feelings and thoughts. And he, like those who may only know the bare minimum, wants for the both us to be happy people. I look foreword to the time when you and I won't need anyone else to talk to, that we will be the friend and confidant for each other. Again, I'm sorry. I hope that you can forgive me. I love you. cg

So is your name because you are from Colorado (CO)? or something else? And remember, if it is private, you don't have to reply. I just asked because I used to live in Colorado a long time ago.

I came here ( to MB) in late January of 02 but I didn't start posting until May. I keep thinking I have learned something and I apply it in my own marriage and then I find that I still have so far to go. Note that my marriage right now would be considered a really good strong one and we are in love, but what I am saying is that I learn that there are still many things I can do to improve myself, and in so doing, also improve my M.

I am telling you this for a reason. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I hope you are working on yourself right along. I know your wife has issues and needs to change but I have found that I wasn't able to change anything about my W. I could only change me.

The amazing thing, is that she changed right along with me. She responded to my changes almost as fast as I could put them into effect. Things really can be as good as DR Harley says they can.

I got a great deal of good from "HNHN" and "Love Busters" I am reading Love Busters again because I need it the most. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
If my W were standing here reading over my shoulder, she would say " yes, you do need it the most." but she would also kiss me on the neck when she said it, so you can see where we are at. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I'll be waiting to see what your wife says when she reads your note.

SS

<small>[ October 25, 2002, 03:33 PM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>

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W
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Thanks for the suggestions. Yes, I'm from the red state. Like you, the thing that I remind myself of every day is that as far as I've come I've got so much further to go. I'm glad you and your wife are doing so well ... my hope is that I do half as well.

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Please note name change.

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Posts: 816
My W's response to my email:

ok
again, i apologize for snooping. it should have never been read in the first place. it's just that sometimes i have no idea what you are thinking because you are trying so hard to show me how much you've changed that you don't show me how much what i've done, and what you've done, has changed you.

i'm glad that you have (your buddy) to talk to. what are you going to do when he moves?

i was only so upset because in the email you sounded like a totally different person. i never see the wrath or the anger or the pain because you are trying so hard to be compassionate and kind and i don't think it helps you to keep it
all in.

anyways...i appreciate the apology...even though i'm not sure who should really be apologizing to who.

W


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