The first question I have is regarding the response I am going to tell my wife(WS) in regards to her telling me on 10/21/02 that I need to let her go. She told me that I need to let her go and that she thought the next step was to get a divorce. Keep in mind that she has been living on her own since the end of June. I went to Plan B shortly after she left but after talking to Steve H. on 10/21 I went back into Plan A.
My wife went on to say we only need to communicate via email. I am going to respond to her by telling her that I appreciate her being open and honest with me about her feelings but I feel different. With me feeling different and that I still believe in her and myself, that I don’t believe divorce is the answer. I am not going to assist her in getting the divorce but I can’t stop her from doing it. I am just going to make it short and simple. How do I tell my wife this? Do write how I feel about this and send this to her in the mail (card)? Do I send it to her via email? Do I try to meet her in person and tell her? I don’t think she will meet me in person. What else should or shouldn’t I say when I write her or talk to her about this?
My wife is going to talk with Steve H. on this Friday because she is doing this so she can tell Steve to tell me to let her go. I got her to talk to Steve by me saying it would be good for Steve to get her point of view on the situation and by him talking to her he can guide me in the right direction. I hope Steve H. can make her more confused or wake her up.

The second question I have is how do I keep plan A’ing even though my wife doesn’t want to be around me or talk to me? Email? Cards? Etc.. Any ideas? Any thoughts? I don’t want to seem like I am begging but I don’t want to give her that opportunity to forget about me.

My wife is going to talk to Steve on Friday as I mentioned. Since I am paying for it my wife has nothing to loose. I just hope and pray that Steve can just open her eyes in some sort of way. Below is what my wife mentioned today an email about her talking to Steve H. Kind of funny that she misplaced the number to call Steve.

WS wrote:
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Noone asked anything about charging the counseling session on Friday to
anyone's credit card. I guess they might be asking me about that on Friday when I call. I will try and remember to call on that today and make sure that it can be done on your card. By the way, do you possibly have the toll free number that you call to talk to Steve Harley? I wrote it on a piece of paper, but I can't find that paper anymore....
The DMB concert sounds like fun. I really am not sure if it's a good idea for the two of us to go to that. I will actually talk to Steve about that on Friday and see. I need a lot of guidance as to how I need to act towards you and what is and isn't appropriate at this point. I just don't want to hurt you any more than I already have.
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At least by her saying I don’t want to hurt you any more then I already have, well at least it seems that she is acknowledging what she has done. I wish I could say this is the fog lifting but I would be jumping the gun if I said that. Does it sound like she is looking forward to talking to Steve? I sort of got that impression like she is looking forward to this in some way. Do you get this from what she said? Or am I reading into it too much? I hope my wife realizes that she is actually hurting me more by walking and staying away then if she was to come back.
Thanks for the help everyone I appreciate it…

CG,

Did you get a chance to ask SH these questions? If not, it would be worthwhile to see if you can get an appointment with him before her's to ask these questions.

I would verify with your W that she has the correct phone number. I also suggest that you call ahead of her appt to the office staff there and make sure they understand that the payment is on your credit card.

IMHO, I don't see what purpose it would serve for you to discuss your intentions with your W before the appointment if you have made it clear to her in the past that you want to stay married. I'm assuming that SH knows you want to remain married.
Blessings, CSue

This removes the possibility of any hassle for her.

CSue..
I have spoken to Steve H. awhile back about all of this. Also he is aware of the latest development by me sending him an email updating where we are at now. Also when I spoke to Steve H. he asked me to try to get my wife to call him. He said for me to do my best at selling the entire Marriagebuilders principle to her and get her thinking about it. Well that backed fire on me and I think it was J.R. who said ask her to talk to Steve H. so Steve H. can help me out. I am hoping Steve H. can work his magic.
I will follow up with the office to clearify the payment as well as the phone number she needs to call. No need in letting my wife make up an excuses on why she hasn't called Steve.