Hi all,
I 'm just a guy searching for insight or answers or recommendations on my situation.
I believe my wife is having an affair with someone at her work. Three times this past year she has gone out without letting me know or giving me a courtesy check-in call. All three times she has come home drunk. The last time I was able to check her mobile phone and found an outgoing call then an incoming call from her male co-worker. 6:45 and 1:30 am the next day.
The last time also she claimed she was going to a female co-workers friend's baby shower.
We discussed the first two instances and nothing was really resolved because of her lack of participation in the conversations(one sided).

right now I had her move all of her things in a spare bedroom. I explained all my feelings to her and asked her about an affair for which I got no response.
How can I deal with a woman who can talk to me about anything other than the subject of our relationship?
Any ideas on helping me cope or suggestions on ways to let her open up would be greatly appreciated!!!
db

Before you act/react to something she does/is doing, take a deep breath. Better to do nothing than overreact.

A good place to start is read the MB principles and how you can apply them.

The Love Bank

Thanks Chris,
I was kinda hasty in posting. Dr. Harley's website is fantastic, I should have read more.
It's just so frustrating when friends and family have good intentions but no real answers. I'm glad I stumbled across this site and forum.

I emailed her a few articles from here and elsewhere hopefully that will start us communicating. At the very least Dr. Harley's site has eased my bitterness,anger,shock,sadness etc etc etc etc................
and helped me understand what I'm going through.

Good you found this place.

I emailed her a few articles from here and elsewhere hopefully that will start us communicating
Now don't try to get everyting fixed as soon as possible. It's gonna take some time and understanding (almost all of it on your part).
The main thing is for you to learn & apply this stuff.

IMPORTANT!!! What you must NOT do is try to "educate" your wife.
Perhaps a brief hint you are learning some things about relationships & how to apply them to yourself.

The best way to go about this is to make some changes in yourself & let her SEE the changes. Don't rub them in her face, "Honey, honey, look waht I can do!"

When she criticizes you about something, simply say, "I didn't realize it bothered you. Thanks for bringing it to my attention. I'll have to take care & make sure I don't do that again."
And then make sure you DON'T do it again.

Read what you can on this site and understand what the ultimate goal. A happy marriage/relationship with both people doing what it takes to ensure the others needs are met.