My WWs move out date is this upcoming weekend and I'm flip-flopping on how I intend to approach contact w/her. I do not have complete honesty from her yet and I know that there is SOME contact between her and OM (maybe one or two per week that I can verify). Plan A is going fairly well at this point ... at least well as I could expect it to go three weeks after D-Day. I've contemplated keeping a low profile, waiting for her to conact me, to let her have a taste of life w/o me (which is what she wants. She's already had a little bit of this bitter pill - she applied for an auto re-fi and was turned down ... she has good credit but too much. Had I been on the app she would have gotten it). But I don't want to disrupt current Plan A efforts. To this point R talk has been to a minimum. Also, WW is "play acting" ... talks and acts a tough game about the move but I can tell she's at least a little scared.

I know there needs to be some more pressure on what remains of the A, so I've also contemplated talking to WW about blowing the lid off. Not completely off but about telling OMs gf (yes ... sh!thead has a live in gf). WW thinks gf should know. I agree. Someone suggested to me that I recommend my WW tell her ... and if she won't then I should. (BTW my W thinks that telling OMs gf will work to WWs advantage.) Anyone have some experience? The thing is ... I said I wouldn't do this. Has anyone had success in contacting OPs spouse/SO and convincing them to say they discovered it on their own?

Anyhoo ... thanks in advance. All thoughts, recommendations, tips and 2X4s welcome.

<small>[ November 07, 2002, 03:46 PM: Message edited by: whippit ]</small>

Whippet,
My opinion is if you have said you will not tell the OM GF, then you should either keep your word, or if you are going to tell, you need to tell your wife that you have changed your mind. Otherwise if you go ahead & tell, you've lied, your honor is also in question and I don't think you want your honor to be in question.

Convincing someone else to lie to benefit you isn't really a good plan of action, ever.

Whatever you choose to do, do it honestly, politely, and honorably.

Thank you, Lor. And thanks to WAT for bumpig up an old and crusty (but oh-so-valuable) thread.