Hi all. Could you read my post (or some of it)"Will I ever feel better?" and comment. Do I act like I've moved on or do I send a card, prepare a dinner once and awhile? I don't know which way to go, if any.
WH and I are still planning to hang-out for awhile on Sat. for "pleasant talk only" (kids will be there). He stayed for a few minutes extra last night (I initiated him leaving) and he asked for hug; however, hasn't called much.
What would you do? Thanks for your time.
Can't Sleep

Hi can't sleep...

I am always very reluctant to tell a person to plan B or plan A...

My advice to you is pretty much the same as always...

Focus on YOU, not H. What YOU do should not be done BECAUSE of HOW your H might react or because your H might do such and such. It must be done FOR YOU.

If you want to spend time w/ H. Do.

I would say that if you are having trouble w/ LBs that might be a place to start for you. Have you read "Love Busters?" Check out the section on this website... to me... eliminating lovebusters is absolutely ESSENTIAL.

Whatever lovebusters that you and your H do... they USED to work... there was some payoff... but they are no longer working... they are depleting your lovebanks... time to find something that works that DOESN'T deplete the lovebank, but restores it.

The way I see it... your H does not want the old marriage... do you? Then decide what YOU must change in order to operate differently... and do it....

I basically decided that my 'old' marriage was over... I had to operate differently and while we do still struggle w/ old habits... but are getting very skilled at showing each other when we are going backwards... the new marriage is much more fun.

I hope this helps... I am not on MB as much. We just moved into a brand new house and are still transitioning from the old house, but I check in two-three times per week.

Hugs and prayers,
Cali