Hey guys
It has been a beautiful day. I had a good day at work with my ILs. I asked my MIL if I can come to her house and visit sometime. I did not tell her that I had been told not to come. I am so lonely. Would it be bad to invite an old male friend to supper some time? I live in a very small town. i took H one of his favorite cookies last week. Did get a phone call but no thank you. I love him so much. I just need some companionship.

luv...glad you had a good day. If your H is living with his parents, it may not be a good idea to go there unless he says it's ok...or unless they invite you. No surprise visits that he doesn't know about if he's there. jmho

Beware of inviting old friends over if done one on one. Inviting more then one should be fine. You live in a small town, and small towns talk, even when there isn't anything to talk about. So be careful. You don't want your H to have anything to point a finger at as to your behavior.

I finally told one child about how H wants me to move out but not them. I told him he did not in any way have to go with me. I told him his dad loves him very much. He told me that if I go he goes because His dad has not been there for him and I have. Did I do the right thing? My h would not accept this and say i manipulated the situation. But it doesn't take a genisus to see who is working on the marriage and who is not. I love my husband and I am so lonely.

How old are your children? Someone was going to have to tell them something eventually. If you didn't do it together, well, you didn't. Can't go back and change it now.

IF your children are old enough (teen years) to decide for themselves who they want to live with if the family breaks down...they have that right. Even younger children pick up on the tension in the household and usually know that something is wrong. Leaving them to worry that it's somehow "their" fault is not fair either.

No matter what way the child jumps one parent is going to be hurt. But wherever the child lives, with mom or dad...it's up to the parent that is not the custodial parent to do the work necessary to make sure that they continue in their parental role.

my children will be in their 20's after the b-days. They are still in college. before this separation thing we did everything as a family, except my H has not went to church with us. Ever! When my oldest son wanted to be baptized I called my H and asked him to meet us at the church ( 2 doors away) and he wouldn't even walk over and see it happen. Several times they have made short talks at church and never has H come. I don't understand it. That is one reason I have not told them all the mean things my H has done and is still doing to me. I don't want them to have ill feelings for their dad. I want them to respect their dad and prepare for the family God wants us to have. My h keeps hinting to me that I am ignoring reality. I have learned just to agree with him, to mention God only makes him mad at me. I just try to remember to thank God that today I had a home. Today I have children. And tomorrow, if God is willing, I can do it again.