My life partner of 3 years has been caught by me in an affair with a married Korean woman who wants (or says to him ) to leave her husband and have a baby with my partner. I caught them the day after MY brother moved in with us because he is marrying my partner's sister (I know, weird situation) I am disabled and was not working which was fine since my partner knew this before hand and was fine with it, until the past few months. We are all living under the same house, and this is very difficult. My partner was taking too many pain killers, muscle relaxers, and a anti-depressant, acting strangely and becoming emotionally unavailable in our partnership. He now says he did not mean for this to happen but that he loves this woman, and wants to father her child because God has made this happen and it's spiritual. He has crushed our families because he thinks all this is rational and we are the ones that have the problem, he has stopped paying for my medical bills or anything else we have occurred together, he works full time and goes to school and spends all the time with her he can, he says they have not gotten physical yet because she is married to am american and is afraid. The husband I gather does not know, but my partner works with his brother. She wants my partner to take her to a lawyer to make sure she will not get deported, so they may have their love child and be happy ever after. This is so bizarre that I am in shock and have no conception of a plan. I moved from another state to be with this man 3 years ago with everything out on the table as to my commitment and he committed to me. I did not know that he would have ever gone and done something like this. But he has, and I feel that finances, and his inability to understand that love is bills, sickness, and commitment is love it is how we choose to approach them that counts. He has made our relationship an albatross around his neck because he loves the "utopian feeling" he has with this woman who he says transcends him above anything he has experienced with me. (Which I have heard that before myself) I am totally as of this moment dependant on him and was not prepared for this nor ever saw this coming. He knew my brother was moving here to be with his sister who lives with us, now they are in the middle of this and we all feel like we were in a car wreck and my partner was driving and he was the only one with an airbag and seatbelt. I am a very spiritual woman, but this is alot to contend with. Please advise me as to how to approach this. I am going to apply for SSI but til then I will find all options. I love this man but I know that it is he that has the options to do what he wants and I can not have any say. This all happened within 24 hours of moving my brother in who came from another state to find a job here. When my brother (who was hurt also) asked my SO if this could have been prevented, my SO said Yes. My brother asked why could this not have been told to someone to prevent all this pain and having him move up here in this, my SO could not say anything but ....I'm sorry, I just did not know how to say it. All this is also after we took the MB emotional needs and love busters questionare to really see where it is we needed improving. I do not know why he even took them which he later said he resented because he was too busy and it was not needed to be done at the time it could have waited until he felt like he had the time to do it.
