My H took his ring off. I noticed it for the first time last evening. He said he took it off on Tuesday because he felt there was no reason to wear it anymore. Our marriage was over. I asked him if I could have it back if he didn't want to wear it and he handed it to me. Then I changed my mind and told him that ring symbolized a promise that I made to him and I hadn't broken that promise that I promised to be by him through better or worse and I haven't broken my promise and that I wanted him to keep it. He took it and put it back in his pocket.

So, do you think I should continue to wear my ring? I just don't know what to do.

That's a very personal question ferbie. And everyone has a different opinion on it. But what matters, is that you need to do what feels right for YOU.

In my case, I took off my ring on the first day of spring 2001. It was rather symbolic for me (spring = new beginnings). However, I always had the ring with me. I just wore it on a necklace. Again, symbolic to me - it was literally closer to my heart there.

Many folks keep their rings on, to show their S that they believe in the M. Others take them off, and make sure to tell their S why (usually b/c it is not a true M, and they are willing to put it/them back on should the S work on the M).

It's all a matter of personal choice. Do what YOU feel is best for YOU. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks or says.

Karen

Hi ferbie....i left my ring on. I felt it helped me to be strong. I would look at it often and it gave me strength to go on.....A/C0810

Ferbie: I kept my ring on for about the first month, then I transferred it to my right hand. After about 2 months I took it off completely as my H had taken his off and I just didn't feel right wearing mine as it was too painful to feel and look at. It is on my dresser and I look at it often and wonder if I'll ever wear it again.

Do what feels right for you. I did feel though, that if I continued to wear it after my H continually told me that our M was over, he may think I couldn't let go..not live without him, so that was another reason.

Whatever the reasons we take our rings off. Very sad. My H always wore a tiger's eye ring on his right hand that I bought him as a gift years ago and I recently noticed he no longer wears that either.

Hi ferbie,

I gave mine to my stbx and told him when he wanted to be married to me again, to give it back to me.

He still has it.

Love and light,

Jacky

When my WW admitted to her A, I asked her to take off both of her rings. I figured that they were a symbol of her wedding vows to me and that she had broken those vows. I also felt deep emotional pain when I would think of her wearing her wedding and engagement rings while having sex with another man. I also took off my ring for a period of time while I attempted to figure out if our marriage could be saved. Ultimately, I ended up buying her a new wedding ring and I put my ring back on. We renewed our wedding vows because I felt that it should be done that way once an A happens. She will have to wait, however, before I will purchase another diamond engagement ring though, as they have really increased in price since I bought hers ten years ago. I am not saying that everyone should take off their wedding ring after an A, but that is the way in which I did it.

ferbie..
My wife(WS) stopped wearing her ring back in June. She took it off because she says the marriage is over. I took my ring off for about two weeks after I found out because I was very upset. Since then I have worn my ring and a lot of people ask me why am I wearing it. I believe in our marriage and even though my wife has choosen her way I still wear it because I took my vows and marriage to heart. I still wear my ring and if we end up a part or together nobody can say I hid my marriage when I was out in public. I will wear my ring forever if we get back together or until the day we are divorced...

Before D day hubbie would take off his ring,even go as far as throwing it across the room.He would not wear it it for weeks,then he would put it back on.After Discovering the affair(after husband,had taken his ring off for the last time for about a month).And after him doing some very very hurtful things laughing in my face about how he was so glad not to be with me anymore.Bring OW over our home..hatefully rubbing into my face!!
We had a picture on our wall someone gave us on our wedding day....With the verse from the Bible Love is Kind yadda yadda....I broke the picture.Mind you I just saw my husband going at it with the OW in our home.....not even bothered I was still packing up the place(I hadn't even filed yet).
My wedding ring is sitting in the bottom of the pond in the back yard,because I tossed it out the window.
I am still not sorry I did it!!
If* he ever changes his addictions and gets help,he'll have to remarry me or renew our vows...and buy me a new ring,it was just too hurtful AND I SAY THIS IF he were to ever change.Which I doubt <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Hi Ferbie,

I won't tell you what you should do, since only you know what is right for you in your heart.

My H never takes his ring off, even though I have a habit of taking my set off each night & placing them on top of my dresser.

Shortly after D-day, I took my rings & placed them on top of HIS dresser. When H asked why they were there, I said that I "did not want them back until he could honestly tell me that HE was 100% committed to me and this marriage."

He didn't bat an eye - he picked them up & tenderly placed them back on my hand just like he did on our wedding day 14 years prior. It was a seemingly simple gesture, but it spoke volumes to me at a time that I was so uncertain of our future. Looking back now, I was testing him - of course.

Now, 6 months later, my opinon is that I would/or/will never remove my rings, with the exception of the day that a divorce becomes finalized if that is where we end up.

I wish you luck,
Shelle

If it gives you comfort then leave the ring where it belongs, on your finger.

As for myself, I was tortured as to whether to wear it or remove it. After seeing how little the rings meant to my wife I finally took mine off. It dawned on me that everything that ring was supposed to sympolize really meant nothing at all. That band of gold was not what mattered. The ring meant nothing without the love of my wife. None of the vows meant anything if the love was lost. So I took it off. It took me some time to reach that point though.

Some time later my wife decided to put hers back on. I also returned mine to it's rightful place. We are now in recovery. Not a perfect recovery, but we are working things out. We both Love each other. Without that love, my ring means nothing to me.

I wish you the best.

jd

it really is a personal decision and means something different to everyone. When I was first married I never took my rings off. After the first D-Day, it was another piece of jewlery to me. I wore it mostly but if I washed my hands and left it in the jewlery box it was no big deal to me. After D-Day #2 my husband said it bothered him if I sometimes didnt wear my ring. I told him I didnt need a ring to remind me I was married or let others know I was married. He always wore his and it didnt stop him from cheating...nor did it stop women from approaching him. I guess to me the symbol of the ring was irrellevant. I acted married ring or no ring because that is what I vowed to do. He was hypocritical to ask me such a question when it clearly meant nothing to him.

Do what you need to do for yourself. There is no perfect answer.

I agree that it is a personal choice.

My wife ditched her rings and that hurt like h***. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> I continue to wear mine as part of my plan A.

I guess it is a matter of how much meaning and symbolism the ring holds for you. Only you know the answer to that.