Friends,
I haven't been here in so long, but have been busy with a new teaching job. I was doing so well, but now i feel the stress of supporting my kids, having to perform at a new job, and a soon-to-be divorce. My divorce will be final early 2003, if not sooner.
Feel like i'm about to start having anxiety attacks. How do you get your mind onto better things????
I should be advising and supporting you guys, and here i am seeking help!
Thanks!
KK

KK - Ok we are in the same boat - I am divorced and it will be completely final in the middle of January - and I have been asking those same questions myself for awhile - it is so hard - but actually everlasting compassion wrote on my thread in the divorce board and had some wonderful advice you should check it out... I am gonna say that it is one day at a time - I go from ok - well it is his lost - to oh my god I can't believe this has happened I love him - why did he do this to me .. Everyone says it will get better with time... I am hoping - the people on the divorce have lots of great advice about coping you should post over there also... Good Luck - Stay Strong...

HI KK,

It will get better! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I know about those anxiety attacks.... Alanon is very helpful, you might want to try a meeting! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I am available for dinner friday night! Let me know if you can make it!

Call me if you can!

Hugs, HONEY

dear maw and honey
thanks for the encouragement.
It absolutely is one day at a time, in fact for me it is one minute at a time! God WILL see me through this. He is bigger than any problem I have.

I have to do lots of positive self talk. Will try to post more later.
Maw, i will check out the divorce board, and look for you there.
honey, i will call you!
KK
Thanks for everyone's help and support. Anyone here ever had a panic attack?
KK

Hi KK, so good to see you back.

I nearly had 2 panic attacks, but talked myself out of them. One was at the railway station on the way to work. I just told myself I WASN't going down that track and that was it. I told myself I COULD handle anything that was dished out and NOONE was going to do this too me.

The other was 30mtrs below water level in a large shipwreck at 10pm at night with no torches on SCUBA. Needless to say I told myself that if I had a panic attack here I WAS DEAD.

Its about mind over manner. Just practice and you will get it. Don't let it beat you. Personally, I think if your brave enough to handle a classful of kids you can do anything!!

The only thing that has helped me so far with the rage and anxiety has been an herbal supplement called "kava-kava."

You can get it at any health food store. If you are NOT taking anti-depressants, and NOT drinking alcohol, kava is a very safe and non-addictive anti-anxiety agent.

Do a Google search on "kava-kava." You will get plenty of info. Good luck. It's the only thing that gets me through the days right now.

KK

how are you, i haven't seen you around in a long while. I quess we started posting here around the same time, Dec last year. I am sorry to hear that your having such a hard time. I think that i will soon be joining you, i don't even know up from down most days. DID a big no no last night and got caught, not very good at snooping, used to be but not any more. any way, i have panic attacks. they go back about 11 years. I have found the best way for me to deal with them is to find something else to do quick. I had a system that worked for a while, i am now on wellbutrin. remarkable little blue pill for the short term. Any way my system. I would count backward from a 100, and i told myself if i was still upset (you know unable to breath ect) when i got to Zero i could fall apart. At every 10 i would pray Isa 41: 13. Dear God I claim Isa 41:13 where you said For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand saying unto thee fear not I WILL HELP THEE. I NEED HELP NOW. And you know, whether or not it was in my head, it helped. I found though that i was overall not coping well, i teach special ed and the paperwork, mad parents, kids another job was just to much. I went to the Doctor, and i really feel better.

I used to be cloudyday, My life hasn't changed. Sorry to say

Here's an idea I read about recently (not sure where though... either on here or on an Al-Anon site, or who knows! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> )

.... the idea was to make a list of all of the things in your life that are causing you anxiety. And then cross off the ones that you have NO CONTROL OVER. You will probably find, that many of the things you're fretting about, you have no control over anyways. The point being, you should try and let the other stuff go, so that you can focus you energies on only the things you CAN CONTROL in your life.

I LOVE list making ideas, which is probably why this one stuck in my head. I hope it might be something that could work for you.

Take care,
Karen

KK- Focusing on step one has been awesome for me lately.. and doing step one meditations, readings, etc.

There is a great book, the twelve steps for codependents..and also... alanon, as we have sd.

It is awesome... just try it for a while, and don't be afraid to talk and participate....

It helps you vent and see there is happiness in the things we can control in our lives, and that we can't do anything about what others DO or DONT do.

I wish.

Anyway - put the focus on kk... I think we need to do a facial! Free of course, for fun and girl time! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I know people who have had panic attacks, will tell you more later, it can be awful, take care of you, let me know how I can be there for you... I am.

Hugs, HONEY

Thanks so much everyone. I am on Zoloft, but not sure if it's helping that much. i am trying to be more in the Word. Most of my anxiety occurs at work, i teach 4th grade, i worry over observations and evaluations by my principal, over stuff like "will I have a job by which to support my kids?" Silly stuff. I know I can do this, and I know God is bigger than any problem I have.
Take care everyone.
kk

KK- Keep praying, God will help you through all those evaluations and such- my mom was never a single mom, but always stressed on all that teacher evaluation stuff... I do think they are way too hard on teachers and petty, and the evaluations seem like a scary thing to go through... at least from what I have heard and that they can be too tough.

DO your best to make good friend s with your evaluators and bosses, a good relationship will help you score higher points... don't talk about the fam. thing at work and work on taliking about happy things... or even the weather or some smart teaching article you read.... anything but the D or the H.... WH, I mean....

Anyway, it will get better..... I know since I got more into alanon lately, my attitude is lifting at work and people are starting to act as if they like me more... why I am not so grumpy or angry or sad... I am acting more like the old happy me... I think I was sc aring people away... YOu can do it, let go of him and what you can't control... You can be a great teacher! You are! You are a super strong, kind, sweet and lovable lady and I know those people at school will see this too. Let KK shine! Thinking of you, give it to God.

Hugs, H

Hi KK, I find when I think of the past I get really sad and depressed. When I think of the future and what "might" happen I get really scared. The thing is that the future is an unknown and we can't say what tomorrow will bring, right??

When I catch myself doing either of these things i bring myself back to the present moment.

You are doing so well, really. The thought of a room full of 4 th graders send shivers down my spine! You are very brave!

Dear Seahorse,
My divorce will be final soon also. Are you doing okay? I'm sorry I haven't been on the board too much?
Yes, a room full of 4th graders is a challenge. Next fall I plan on working with visually impaired kids, one at a time. I'm looking forward to it. It gives me a goal to work toward. i'm starting a divorce care class in Jan. Have you been able to do anything like that? I'll try to check in more often. Take care.
KK

Hi KK, glad you asked re divore care classes. I started one about 3 weeks ago. It is a divorce/separation group. It is very good. Its like being on here but with people in the flesh (so to speak). You get to meet a few more people and you understand even more about why you shouldn't jump into new realtionships and just work on you.

Things aren't so good with me. H says he definitely dosen't want to work on marriage, but we seem to have this close friendship. ITs quite strange and I don't really know how I feel about it. I am putting my house on the market soon and we will be financially separated.

Please come back more often, we all missed you!