I thought last week might be somewhat of a breakthrough BUT...H returned to his angry and somewhat distant behaviour THIS week. I guess this is to be expected BUT...I am continue to remain steadfast in my lack of expectations or reaction to his cutting remarks which pop up MUCH LESS frequently but have nonetheless, reared their ugly head to remind me of his total rejection of me, my actions, my child rearing, my lack of housekeeping, etc...

I am sad but now refuse to cry. What does bother me is my D's recent reactions. She seems to be angry with him not being around...I ask her to tell me how she's feeling...I attempt to reassure her that he can tell me anything, that I will always be there for her. Last night, she told me, "mummy, I'm not the same. Papa isn't here. He goes to work too much and he doesn't come home." H tells her that he has to go to work.

It broke my heart but I held her tight and told her that many people are not the same. Her tears spilled down her cheek because she, in her own way, suffers.

This is what hurts me so much more...

Now T, this is the time to use your support groups. Your little one is expressing herself. While you encourge her to speak her mind and reinforce your love. Encourage her to do the same and speak her mind to her daddy. She may be too young to write but not too young to talk . You'd be surprised what those little whippersnappers can do in a pinch. Cut right to the and just twist in the truth. Right through the fog and anger blockades. Nothing can prevent the sword of truth when in the arms of a young and innocent one.

I am not saying use your daughter as a weapon I am saying let her speak her mind to her dad. He deserves to hear no less. Let her know that if she feels this way to let her dad know. Make sure these are her feelings and not yours. She will understand. Even to this day, my son knows how to ask his dad questions. The right ones.

I am sorry his anger comes and goes. Maybe one day it will just go and not come back. Wouldn't that be nice. I told my H that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile. He says his face must be in great shape..... I agree. LOL!!! Howz your H's face?!?!

take care,
L.

Congrats T, It is getting old isn't it? I am sooo tired of this ws baloney- we do deserve love now don't we.

I am sorry your darling D is unhappy.. it is so sad..my little one who is just turned 4 a few months ago voices his sadness... but Daddy tells him he likes it at "his HOuse"- whatever. We can't change them and if they don't want to be good h's... well ... seriously, what more can we do, except be willing...

We do not have to be mean about this mess... but it is just that THEIR MESS... we are victims of ws. I know we weren't the best wives in the book, but hey who doesn't have problems..?

So sorry he is grumpy.

Hugs to you , Honey

Good to hear from both of you. Happy Thanksgiving.

O, [QUOTE] Howz your H's face?!?!
/QUOTE]

Funny you should ask...his face looks EXTREMELY, shall I say, worn. Actually, he just mentioned tonight that he's been having alot of problem sleeping for the longest while. The circles under his eyes are BAD...although I shouldn't be, I am worried.

You'll be proud to know that I did compliment him on his sweater. He said, "You know this sweater. It's from last year. Don't you remember?" I replied, "Actually, I don't."

Did mention that "I should buy new outdoor Christmas lights...and that I'll need to buy some new bows, etc"...emphasizes the "I"...hurts like hell but I grin and bear it.

Honey, Hope you're okay. Yes, it certainly is getting OLD. And me along with IT. I've aged so much in the past year...I guess I can say I look wiser.

Oh well..didn't Ark say my H should be one of Snow White's dwarfs and Grumpy is really a good name for him.

Take care and have a wonderful weekend.

It is so sad how the children suffer in their own ways!!!!

And of course we are the ones to soothe and comfort as we are the ones available. My children are old enough to tell their father how it is they feel and that what he has done has hurt them, but they wont. They are just so happy that he is available to give them time!!!

Sounds like you are staying strong, and that is what you must do!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />