Alsia - if I were you, why stay in a marriage when you are receiving nothing. This is not good for the kids. As far as educational expenses, your husband committed adultery. This is more power for you. He can be addressed to have to pay the attorney fees. Also, you being a young woman, with 2 young children, and single, you can get grants.
Their are woman resources groups that can help you out. I am looking into a group now for a grant for school. Not sure what I can do, but I need to get a final degree in somehting.
With your husband seeing the other woman, is thoughtlessness, uncaring, selfishness. I learned the hard way, my husband was still seeing the other woman, and I wish he had left when the Harleys told him to get out of the house that night. I was wimpy, but you know, this will never happen to me again. If I were ever to have anyone else in my life (which I plan on not), anytime this person acts like my husband did, he's out the door pronto. The only thing you are doing is making it easier for him. He has both parts of the puzzle, you and her. He needs to know that you are not going to settle for this situation, and that you are taking control of your life. You are feeding him, giving him sex, giving him pleasure, taking care of him, he is getting all of what he wants from the other woman too. This is a selfish b*st*rd.
Go talk to a lawyer, usually the lawyer will talk to you one time for free. Consultation hour. But, you need to have proof, evidence of his adulterous life. That is what put me in front, my hsuband didn't admit to his affair at first, and then I had letter, cards, phone bills, money taken from our account, and her phone bills. I even had the statement from hotel 6 that they had their sex in.
You need evidence, the lack of showing support to the kids, which I showed, with the phone calls, and my hsuband calling our kids bad names. The lack of attention to the family, the knowledge that our business was going down hill. The facts that he was not working as hard, and giving the money to the other woman.
This is relevant, and needs to be shared with your lawyer. At the beginning I didn't want to hurt my husband. But more and more, the evidence had to be placed in my lawyers hands. The judge needs to see who is the one who doesn't care about their spouse. And so it hurt me deeply, and the facts came out. I am not proud of what I did, I can state that with a sincere heart. But you ask my husband about his affair. He doesn't say he is not proud of what he did. He justifies his affair.
The one who can say they are remorseful and feels guilty, and expresses shame, and say they are sorry, are the ones who are on top.
I am sorry for all that I did to contribute to the failure of the marriage. Wish my husband would do the same. But will not happen, he is that way.
So you have to look at yourself. Do you want to be a person giving, and giving. And not receiving anything from your husband. Sure, you can be intimate with him, but then know that he is still dealing with the other woman. Also, knowing that you don't know who she has slept with, and who that person has slept with. That scared me, deeply. And my husband didn't want to get the STD and HIV testing done, he said in his own time. Will, that showed me he didn't care about me, only himslef. So that was ordered by the judge too.
If I was you, I would have testing done, and get yourself a good attorney. If you can settle out of court, with a moderator, that is good. But few can do this. Like myself, we were married for 25 years. Yes, my husband only wants to give me 2 years of alimony, we've been married for 25 years, and I haven't worked much, and since 1990 haven't worked at all outside the home. I ran the business we own, without a paycheck. So that is all he wants to give me, 2 years. No way, even the judge said that is unreasonable.
There are many things for you to consider. Talk to good friends, and their are groups that have seminars on divorce. That don't cost anything. I went to one, and was helpful. They give you if not a big crowd, 20 minutes per person to ask individual questions. A lot of your questions are answered in the group.
Good luck, and do the right thing. Think about your kids.