This is the first time posting here and already I have angered. My express regrets to those offended.

1) This is a board for infidelity
2) Most are here for infidelity support,
either being the betrayed or the betrayer.
3) It is a given that I was speaking of mm who
cheat. Why would I bash mm who don't cheat?
I am not a lesbian man hater.

It seems the poster was taking out his anger at his wife on me.

So why are you here? You haven't posted your story.

Most people are here because they want to save their marriages and become better spouses and better individuals.

What's your story?

My husband of 20 years has never given an ounce of affection, never a kiss in bed during sex, no conversation, anger if I call him at work on his cell, never does anything with me and never offers, he walks ten paces in front of me, sex is once every month and one-half before he asks for it, when he does it is just sex-we get up and walk away from each other.

Why do I stay in this? Insecurity. I am an attractive woman who now feels unattractive, and I am losing ground in the mental stability department. I used to have a good job, looks, great clothes, great car, everything. Now I am home, closed in. Everyday, everyday, I cry in my situation. Depression, yes, the only way to stop it is get away and get a new life. I have young children. I stay for them. Whenever they are around, I am a happy-go-lucky mom. When they leave I become this person who sits in my room in the dark with no communication with anyone all day. When they get home, I turn that off. My best friend is my dog. I have cried so much to my husband and told him these things that are wrong, but nothing is resolved. As a matter of fact, the other day for the thousandth time I told him I am seriously depressed, he says he will help me get out of it. Then I hear him whistling in the other room.

I hate ow. All the skanks who are with mm. This one called my husband on Christmas wishing him a nice one and she blocked out her name/number to where it said private. I caught the call. I have had strange calls in the wee morning hours from someone named Tina. I asked why she is calling and she said "I don't know what you are talking about" and laughed. I have smelled perfume, seen lipstick, and told I was delusional in what I saw and smelled. I know about the strip club he went to.

It makes me feel less womanly and I feel very unappealing to myself this way. I am letting myself go in the looks department. I don't even shower every day anymore and I don't care what my husband thinks about it. I am sad and I really hate women (and unfaithful husbands) who ruin the lives of their families who they said they would love forever.

Amy

Amy:

Thanks for telling us your story. It helps to understand the reasons for some of the bitterness that I saw in another post of yours. I hope you get help from a professional as soon as possible.

I hope you check out the rest of the website, as well as continue to post on the forum. There are some excellent articles on the website (and many other websites) that you might find extremely helpful. A lot of people have gone through what you are going through, and we're all here trying to help each other.

Please take care, and know that we're thinking of you.

It's okay to be angry at what happened. But you have to look at everything and try to understand what & why it happened.

My husband of 20 years has never given an ounce of affection,
How did you end up married if he NEVER showed affection towards you?

never a kiss in bed during sex
IN 20 years, not one single kiss in bed?

no conversation
How did you get married if he never asked you? That is a conversation.

never does anything with me
You got married, moved in together, lived with each other for 20 years, etc. That sounds like SOMETHING.

sex is once every month and one-half before he asks for it
How often do YOU ask for it?

when he does it is just sex-we get up and walk away from each other.
Why do you get up & just walk away if it's not what you want?

Part of Marriage Builders principles is understanding your behaviors and communications towards your spouse and how they affect the relationship.

Depression, yes, the only way to stop it is get away and get a new life.
No, the only way to stop it is to do something about it. Getting a new life will not do ANYTHING for your depression. You have to get to the root of the problem. It could be medical or situational or both. It doesn't just go away.

Heretotellyou: Did I offend you in some way? I only ask because I just saw the nasty thread you started for me. If I upset you I am sorry. Tell me what I did/said and maybe I can put it into proper context as upsetting you was not my intention. BTW, my W is not a S***. She is a wonderful woman who made poor decisions.

MTD

<small>[ January 07, 2003, 05:17 PM: Message edited by: madly_truly_deeply ]</small>

^^^