Should it matter to me if my H. is ending contact with OW if he does it in person or if he is face to face with her? He won't write a letter and just end it that way, he will only do it in person. So, how am I to know what was said and if he even brings me into the picture or anything? I am going to talk to his C. thurs. with him and maybe alone too, but I told My H. yesterday that i couldn't see him until he ended all contact with her. It's just too hard to see him, knowing he is with her all the time and her kids and every night, it's like he's married to her, not me. It seems like if he really was going to end it with her he would be spending more time with me not less. So if anyone has opinions on the NC thing please let me know.

It jjust seems like the fog lifts slowly. That is what I get from other posters here. I am hoping that he does a good job of breaking off things.
I so hope things go well and you guys will have a good recovery.
Good luck,
Layli

50/50 on your question, DbD...... In my case, the NC no contact made the OW cry and make him feel more guilty. In fact, I was dragged to witness (h's request) it from a distance. You know how hard it was to see one's H walk out of a restaurant with the OW at his side? It was a dark and rainy night but their silohuette will forever haunt my thoughts.

Then he did the one on the phone.... again I was there and heard most of the conversation..... another dark and rainy night.... our son was in the back seat of the car asleep (cell phone has bad reception at our house, we were sitting in a parking lot down the street. Now I think back and YUCK!

NOTE: Both types resulted in contact from the OW within 20 minutes to 2 hours. I was also told she was hard of hearing.... ya think?!?!? LOL! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

So for me, the in person or phone call didn't work. Not enough anyway. Of course, Ow in my case is a psyco babble so she 'threatened' some stuff.... man I wish she wasn't bluffing - LOL!!
She had said she was going to move away,etc.

It has worked for others, so don't take my case as the only suggestion.

My thought is that it needs to be some method that you will feel safe.

take care,
L.

<small>[ January 12, 2003, 02:31 PM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>

Well, with the other OW, she was a psycho and he did feel guilty when she started crying etc. And he sent her a letter, also called her one time and then called her with me sitting next to him. And none of it lasted either. I guess what it boils down to , does he really mean it and will he really not contact her? But if he tells her the truth-the whole truth-then she probably wouldn't want to see him again and that is why I am worried about what he will tell her. So I will wait and see-Feb. 1 is still the date as far as I know.