I just finished printing The Four Rules for a Successful Marriage for my H to read especially The Rule of Time.
What do you all think about private vacations withoutthe children? I have wanted to go away with my husband alone and he balks at it and says people with children don't do this. My youngest child is now 12. I have responsible people who would watch her. It isn't like I was planning to leave her alone in the house.
When we married 13 years ago we only took a short, local weekend awayand my H promised me a trip for the 2 of us for our 5th anniversary. That never happened. I resent it and I have told him so. He was married before and he took his first wife to Hawaii for their honeymoon. I feel jealous that I got nothing. (Before anyone asks they were divorced for almost 5 years before him and I met)
I need to do more than mini golf, amusement parks and circuses, I love my children and I love doing things with them but I also want to be more than somebody's mommy once in a while.
Am I wrong to feel this way? Be honest please. Am I selfish like he says?

No you are not selfish. You are trying to protect your family by strengthening your marriage- which requires alone time with your H.

After all, if you had taken children along with you on every date when you first met, you never would have been able to fall in love.

Now you have to MAINTAIN that love, same rules apply. Marriages require maintenance.

Also there will not be children at home forever. You have to have common interests for when the children leave. A marriage that revolves around children can crumble when the children leave.

selfish? bad word no! what you are is smart enough to realize that being a mommy doesn't mean the woman is dead. every bit of information on this subject i've ever heard has been that it's healthy to have time away from the kids. if you aren't happy with how your life is going, then how can you be the best mother you could be? dr. phil once said something along the lines of how you cheat your kids by not being the best person you can. it is necessary for a married couple to spend time alone together! my husband is in the navy and with 3 kids we have very little time or money with which to play with, but we still try to get to the movies occasionally. if we had the money for a trip, we'd take it! your kids need mommy to be happy, to be healthy, and to sometimes think of herself as a person and not just someone's mother. so to sum it up, no it's not a selfish desire, it's a needed one! GO!!!!