Landslide,
Well, I managed to crank out a killer thesis defense today.. I had to, and did. So far, it's off to my Dad for review (Mr. Ph.D) before submitting it.
You know, it was really hard to focus...has been for weeks, but once I got into it -- boy it was great! I feel so good about myself!
And I NEEDED that! Certainly, things are far from over here with the H, but you know I can hold my head high tomorrow when I walk in and submit my defense. To all of the folks (including my now-so-silent MIL) who never gave me a word of support along the way, this is what I have to say to you: "Balls!" (You know, British slang for where to put it..)
So, I think I am out of my funk and back on track, focusing on me. I am back up and fighting. But of course not with him...won't stoop to it.
I am going to focus all of my attnetion on myself and my students -- I'm sure they're in for an interesting ride this semester with the way my life is going!! Actually, there one of the only things in life that keeps me going..
Landslide, I have babbled enough -- please tell me how you are. I care.
Let me leave you with the words of my favorite poet: Yevgeny Yevtushenko (Russian):

"...I love to crunch cool scarlet slices of watermelon,
I sing and I drink, giving no thought to death.
And if in this wide world, I come to die,
Than it shall be from the sheer joy of living."

Landslide -- here's to people like us who can survive. Let's pray that soon we will also enjoy the greatness that life offers.
With or without the H. Amen.
1Red

Things are ok. I was just very nervous during church today. Kindofa sick feeling in my stomach. I have these urges to say things I shouldn't to ow. To glare at her when I know I shouldn't. I've been reading here all afternoon in the notable threads. Everything says stay away from ow. Don't waste any energy on her. This is so hard. I know she doesn't deserve my attention or time.

She attempted the hand shake today but someone got in her way. I know God put that person there to keep her from H. Does that sound soupy!? sappy?! whatever?

Does she want to shake his hand just to keep him interested? You know, he could stand in the other aisle and avoid her completely.

I know if they want to be together they will. H says he has had n/c since last April. Why can't I believe him?

I hope you have a great week. Remember to take sometime for yourself. Thanks for being concerned. I would be crazy - hehe- crazier by now if I had not started posting on this board. Even though I don't reply a lot to everyone's questions. I have been helped so much.

I've read as you change the focus from the problems to yourself that the situation improves gradually. We'll see.

Like I said, have a great week.

(I copied this from the reply I sent you this afternoon. I'm on the lazy side tonight.)
Thanks for the poem.

Congratulations on finishing your thesis.

We will be great just for us.

In my prayers,
landslide