Does sexual desire diminish at this age?

lobelia, I am not a man, but a BS. And yes, sexual desire can deminish at any age due to physical or psychological problems.
A persons history of drinking, smoking and other health issues can reduce or even take away totally the desire.
Of course, My WS was saying he just had lost it and all libido and ten women could stand naked in front of him with no reaction on him.
LIAR!
Obviously, his email and phone A with OW ended in PA. So proof he felt desire to bed her!
However, if there is a true sexual problem, being with someone else will not fix it.
I'm just grateful he and she both had problems.
There are treatments for impotence also. And they do help. Men as young as 20's are experienceing problems according to studies and stastics!
If this is your H,or you? he needs his testosterone levels checked. That will definitely give you some insight if it's low. Also thyroid levels can do messy things if off.
Forget all the herbal crap too. It's a waste of money and time and can be dangerous. People think taking DHEA will help. NOT! and it can burn out the adrenal glands. however, they can regenerate after stopping it.
There can be many psychological factors also. If there has been stresses in your marriage, arguments, constant upsets, it can effect as well.
I believe people married for many years do get bored with their mates. But that is no justification for A. If there is a problem with desiring mate, then they should put as much effort into their relationship as they do A's that usually end only in heartache and not a cure for anything!
Sex is 90% mental! An unhealthy mental state can do devastating things to anyone.
First is to get a good physical.

Lou,
I also am a BS so to speak. H denied anything went on. Just heavy flirting. H has no problem with impotence. H gets erection, just won't act on it. Does that mean he has a desire, but not with me?

lobelia, if he gets erections but won't act on them, there is something going on. Mental or in PA. Could be either. Also, wondering why he would not act on them? Have you flat out asked him?
I believe during the PA or even EA with OW, mine was fantasizing about going to be with her and masturbating in shower. I caught him doing that shortly after it broke off and hurt me bad. Being right there and he'd not come to me!I confronted him and he said just got excited in shower. But that is not normal for any man to have the desire and not act on it.
I would question his honesy about his A. It may have been PA. They do lie a lot and deceive.
If you've been arguing or stressed,he may be turned off to you right now also. That can happen with stesses. I have no answer unless he will tell you honestly what is going on.
God bless, LouLou

Lou,
Yes, I have asked. His answer is always that he won't be able to wake up in the morning.The only problem with that answer is that he's always hard to wake up.

lobelia:

I will be 50+ in exactly 10 days. I'm also the BS, and currently "suffering" because my W is trying to understand what love really means to her, so we're not having SF all that much.

According to Schnarch (Passionate Marriage), SF gets better up through your 60s, in a healthy M at least. I consider that something for me to look forward to, provided we can really recover from my W's A.

all my best,
-Qfwfq

Pepper = 53
Mr. pepper = 52

He's latino ..... all I need to do is bend over to wash the tub .... and he's in the mood. Ever see the movie "~Chocolat~"?

I'm not certain if I'm "lucky" .... or not??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> He did have an affair, after all.....

j/k.... I'm waaaay lucky <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Pepper, you are something! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

You are crazy! I bet too it is a lot your fun personality that makes you so loveable and puts Mr. Pep in the mood.

You don't hafta rub it in that you are so lucky <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I'll have to say <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> my hubby's has diminished (but not last night) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> ...but, he also takes high-blood pressure meds...

He's 56, I'm 47...

<small>[ February 22, 2003, 09:19 AM: Message edited by: Susan ]</small>

SUSAN

Our tub was washed last night <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> It's sparklin' clean <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Our tub was washed last night It's sparklin' clean
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">OURS too! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> How 'bout that!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> You nut!

It's not cleaned quite as often as I would like it to be though. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

<small>[ February 22, 2003, 09:39 AM: Message edited by: Susan ]</small>

This could be andropause. It is similar to menopause for women. There are a few books about it, I read it after I found out my husband had a sexual affair.

Also, there could be diabetes, thyroid problems, high blood pressure, believe it or not cholesterol, or he could just be getting whimpy in that area from hormones. There is medication to take, for the hormone to regulate itself. Just like us women. But most men think they are macho, and don't need a Dr.

To ejaculate in the shower, he could of been visualizing another woman, or he could of just wanted to release at that time. My husband used to ejaculate quite a bit by himself. Even when we were newly married. It is a man thing, to see the ejaculation. Also, as the man ages, the ejaculation is not as hard, so it is also whimpy. And the spasms are not as intense. So the force is not as strong, and this does affect the mans manhood.

When you know he is ejaculating, I would just look in the shower, and say, something that would be praising his manhood. To say something, like I want to be in the shower with you next time, and maybe I could do it for you, that way you could totally relax and enjoy yourself. Something of that sort. The age of 50, is the downhill side for men too. This will affect each individual male, according to their sexual needs.

If in doubt, have him see a Dr. for this specialty for consultation. Good Luck.

Faith, I sure did offer my services to him. heehee. Didn't take me up on it, but he's been very active with me recently also, so maybe no shower fun needed.
The thing is, it was right after A ended, so I felt he was imagining her. That I'd rather just be separated than do for him. I'm not substituting for any other woman!I'm just way better than that. So that did hurt since we'd just has SF hours before!
Oh well, I look at it as his loss.
Good advice here to lobelia. Many medical problems can produce problem in men and women. But Lobilia, his excuse is way off. NOt wake up in morning? You can assure him you'll get him up! Pun there. Either way he likes it. Or both!
Lame excuse I'd say. More going on. Unless he gets erection then loses it and that is a male ego thing there. How would he know though if he is not trying?
LouLou

Everyone,
Thanks for all the info. Must not be very many 50+ men on this board. My H is not willing to pleasure me that way.I can take a shower with him and he won't even touch me. Until he decides to come forth, I'll never know what has happened in his life. He refuses to talk. I don't know if there was an A or not. Sometimes it seems as if he acts guilty about something, but I think my mind is working overtime.(my intuition stinks alot). There are times that I don't know him anymore. He really changes often. Since he is in his own little world I guess I'll just stay in my little corner of "hell".

lobelia:

Oh! I thought you were looking for over 50 responses! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Pepper: remember my "closet heterosexual" post last summer or fall? Tub SCMUB! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

When the mood hits me, it's very "hard" to control. Used to not be so much of a problem for me as it is now, but I need to be patient at this time... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

-ol' Qfwfq

lobelia,

The answer is usually yes, they do. I am a male over 50. However, diminish does not mean go away. In someways they change. Let me offer you an example. First, there is Pepper bent over the tube. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> (Some how I can understand her H's response, it is a provokative pose), and then is what most women like: some connection before the desires start to really go.

Men often make a tranisition to needing a bit more connection physically and emotionally, than before where just images would do the job. Is that decreased desire? Not really, but now the importance of the partner is enhanced.

It has been said that sex gets better between healthy adults as they get older. Well, better is a relative term, but the pill does depress sex drive, and a woman that no longers needs the pill is somewhat free of concerns she may have had. The male is more mellow (for lack of a better word) and so it is likely that the desires of both are better matched.

As for stamina, performance, sensitivity, just plain raw go for it sex, youth wins everytime. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Does that answer your question. I will add that I think some men compensate for the loss of the natural turn on. That can be more flirting, perhaps testing of their abilities to lure women, you name it.

It is a difficult thing to lose abilities that are on your mind constantly. Studies have claimed that men think of sex every ten seconds. I don't know if that is true, but for young men it could be.

Must go. Hope this helps.

JL

Just Learning,
Your statement: "I will add that I think some men compensate for the loss of the natural turn on. That can be more flirting..."

On men flirting sexually: Do men flirt and joke about sex with other women for a "turn on"?

Just Learning,
Your statement: "I will add that I think some men compensate for the loss of the natural turn on. That can be more flirting..."

On men flirting sexually: Do men flirt and joke about sex with other women for a "turn on"?

Or some just go cheat because they think a new woman will put the Lead back in pencil. But if there is a physical problem, they'll find that cure is not long lasting. And they'll wind up embarrassed with OW! It does happen!
It may just work temporarily, but not permanent fix.
So how stupid can men be? REal stupid!
Now don't all you men get the axe out for me. I said some!
LouLou