ok, i posted on his phone call from yesterday. now he tells me he has bought a divorce kit. WH called me...asking for some army thing papers he left.. but he spend like 20 minutes telling me about work, then about the army, maybe getting deployed. he is being nice again! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

we had discussed (when i DID NOT believe he WANTED a divorce from me) that he would NOT divorce until after (if he goes) to war. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

he said if he goes to war he will send microcassete tapes to us and we can exchange them.. and he said that at first they are sent to a stateside base for 3 wks for processing..etc and he said he cant call OW or us at that time.

he told me that he is leaving his will the same so incase i can take care of his kids. then i said are you going to wait on THAT till u return. he said, like YEEEEESSSSS (KEEPING THE YES GOING) YVONNE! then he said, "anyway, i am outside my fence (in other words he is not gone down the drive to the tiny house he shares w/his ow and doesnt want to drive in until he is done) and i have to cut this short, so find those papaers if you can and i will talk to you later on."

WHAT DO U THINK.

3-year-old making noises shaking his widdle fists!

Square peg round hole..... don't try to pound sense into all of this nonsense.

Be strong, don't react whimpy. See what happends. Don't sign anything you don't want to sign.

Don't sign anything you don't want to.

Also, he is acting childish, and sitting on the fence. I would just continue on, if he does send a cassette, just put in how the kids are doing, how you are doing, and just things are going ok. No need to worry him at this time, unless of course something does happen seriously in the family. He is going to fight for our country. But be upbeat, and doing fine.

one thing. he has not been sent off. he keeps dangling that fact. he is a cook in the army... so who knows when they will need a army reserve cook.

when he talks like he is going "home" the ow place, it kills me! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Kuljey,
A divorce kit indicates he may not use a lawyer. Divorce kits don't work unless the divorce is mutally acceptable by both parties.

If he serves you with divorce papers, get a lawyer. Even if he says you don't need one...it is advisable to have a lawyer if you have any visitation, child support, financial, and settlement issues.

For example, if he retires military, you are entitled to 50% of his retirement for the time you were married while he was in the military. And, it's something that may need writing into the terms of the divorce or you can use it as a bargaining chip for something else that you want.

Not to mention, depending on your state, if he's living in adultery, you may be able to have him pay for your lawyer.

When my H & I were separated, I bought a divorce kit, reading it made me realize I wanted a lawyer!

wh called this morning to ask if he is picking up his daughter after soccer practice. BUT then he said if he didnt have to he wouldnt cuz he has a appt w/a lawyer.

i called around to the few lawyers in this city and he said he couldnt talk to me cuz wh has appt there..eeeks..

dont want a D

wh called this morning to ask if he is picking up his daughter after soccer practice. BUT then he said if he didnt have to he wouldnt cuz he has a appt w/a lawyer.

i called around to the few lawyers in this city and he said he couldnt talk to me cuz wh has appt there..eeeks..

dont want a D <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Kuljey:

Don't fret! Him seeing a lawyer might be a GOOD thing, giving him a dose of reality. He is still in the FOG.

My WS and I saw lawyers and we are trying to reconcile. Don't Give Up! Keep doing your PLAN A and don't LB regardless of what he does because you can't control him, only yourself.

You need to find yourself a lawyer. You might need to go out of town. There are strict laws, at least there are here, that once your spouse consults with an attorney, that attorney cannot see you. That happened to me too. I kept looking until I found one.

WH called after lawyer appt to tell me the lawyer recommends we do bankrupcy. WH didnt like this lawyer cuz he is a "christian" lawyer and said he doesnt like to break up families and his living situation isnt good.

WH said his dad recommended bankrupcy too. I was shocked, his dad would recommend. So i called them after WH said he had to stop and put gas. WH's stepmom said she would ask the dad. The dad said he said you are headed for bankrupcy if you dont watch it and tried to call WH;s cellphone. He didnt answer. But, while on the phone w/the stepmom I called from my cell to WH to say (as an excuse) werent you going to call me back, he said he said he said no and would call me b4 he comes to get our 5 yr old daughter tonite for a movie.

As you see, he talks to me like there is nothing wrong, which leads me to believe that there is hope...but then he goes "HOME." AAGHH. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

bump