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Need practical advice w/re helping WS through withdrawal after NC initiated
#1058732 02/26/03 10:43 AM
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 19
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devilsadvocate Offline OP
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devilsadvocate
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We are 1 1/2 weeks after discovery. Both of us are reading the information on this site. WS is suffering from withdrawal and I need to know how to help him succeed with the no contact. OW reminders are everywhere in our everyday life. Can't be with him 24/7. Can't take away the cell phone. What CAN I do to help?
Re: Need practical advice w/re helping WS through withdrawal after NC initiated
#1058733 02/26/03 04:58 PM
Joined: Dec 2002
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errn Offline
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errn
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Hi Locke!

I am new to this myself and still struggling. I don't think you can DO anything to maintain the N/C, but I think being supportive, continuing to read everything you can to understand, and to continue to reinforce your love is about the best you can do.

If you have SAA, there is a good section on withdrawal. Maybe H can read that, to understand himself and to realize this is a normal reaction.

My H is currently in withdrawal I believe, but since we are not living together, it is more difficult for me. I am continuing to support him, and trying to let him know he WILL get through this and I am here for him. He unfortionalely still sees OW, but I do believe the A is ending or ended.

Good luck to you both!
Re: Need practical advice w/re helping WS through withdrawal after NC initiated
#1058734 02/26/03 05:04 PM
Joined: Dec 2002
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kuljey Offline
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what happened to me, was i followed his where about soooo so much i think i pushed my WH back to OW.

its really a hard time for WS and YOU! all i can say is try to get into counseling fast. we went thru a pastor and that didnt help.
Re: Need practical advice w/re helping WS through withdrawal after NC initiated
#1058735 02/26/03 08:23 PM
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devilsadvocate Offline OP
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errn, what is SAA?

kuljey, I can see how staying too close could backfire. Thanks for the heads up.
Re: Need practical advice w/re helping WS through withdrawal after NC initiated
#1058736 02/26/03 08:35 PM
Joined: Nov 2002
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dazed blonde Offline
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Sorry to butt in - It's Surviving an Affair - a very good book available for purchase on this website. Most of the info in the book is available on this site but it's all in one handy place.

As far as the withdrawal goes - I think one good thing you can do is spend as much time with your H as possible. SAA advises 15 hours a week. I know this sounds like an impossible task but the more time you spend together the better off you'll be. Go with him everywhere. Invite him to go with you. Just BE. Together. It's the best medicine for what ails you.

BTW, have you done the questionnaires on the website? They are also in the book but you can print them off here. They'll give you TONS of information about each other.

Good luck. Glad to hear there's been NC started.

Keep us posted.
DB
Re: Need practical advice w/re helping WS through withdrawal after NC initiated
#1058737 02/27/03 07:24 AM
Joined: Feb 2003
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devilsadvocate Offline OP
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We did the EN questionaire. We ran errands together for the first time ever in our 20 years of living together. It was fun for me, but I think he had too many conflicting emotions to say it was 'fun' for him. Withdrawal and uncertainty continues, but I have very high hopes. I feel so ineffective sometimes.

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