It's been a LONG day, waiting to find out what's going on with visitations and custody THIS week. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I finally spoke with my lawyer this afternoon, and was told that SOLE interim custody is official. THANK GOODNESS!!! THIS is what's been bugging me the most all along (since I left H in late Nov 2002). It's now safer for me to go out with the boys (b/c until it was set, technically, H could have snatched any one of them and there's nothing I could have done about it legally... well, except that it probably would have gone against his bail conditions. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ).

I also called my (new) family doctor, and have an appt on Monday afternoon. I think it's time to get back on the anti-d's again, until I get over this hump (family court, H's criminal trial, etc).

As well, I have set up an intake appt with the visitation centre for next week, so that should H be approved, there has been no holding back on my part. My lawyer seemed somewhat surprised at my doing so, but VERY happy about it too. Now all that needs to be found out, is whether or not H's bail conditions can be altered so that he can use this facility. If so, he will be the one to pay the transportation costs to and from the centre for the boys (cabs both ways, as there is NO WAY the twins' stroller would fit on a bus, nor could they walk), as well as the cost of using the facility.

Yes, the whole visitation issue is bothersome to me... but now that I have sole interim custody, I'm feeling SO MUCH BETTER... more at peace. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I also have a CAS (children's aid society) worker visiting my home tomorrow morning, and then a meeting with my lawyer tomorrow afternoon. Friday, so far, promises to be a relaxing day at home, so I can get ready for a visit from one of my friends from T.O. (Toronto for those of you not familiar with that use <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ). She's preggo with TWINS <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> , and I have LOADS of stuff for her! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Then comes Sunday... if all goes well, I'll be going to church with OS.

I'll update next once the visitation issue has been sorted out somewhat. That may not be until early April, or it could be as early as next week. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Karen

i am sooo happy to hear all this. you deserve some peace. enjoy-and believe all happens for a reason. stay strong and if you still need to call-i'll be home tonight.

doin the happy dance for topie and the boys!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

dancin dancin dancin!!!...happy happy happy for topie!!!!!!!!!!!....
who has been BRAVE
who has been a real stand up PARENT
who had done what is right even when it was HARD to do!!!!!!

GOD BLESS you and those cuties...
continued Grace to you and yours..
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
ARK

Oh Topie I am so happy to hear that you got sole interim custody, you deserve it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Take care of yourself and may things continue to go well for you,

Jen

I slept so great last night! Haven't slept that good since January 3rd... the night H was in jail and I knew the boys and I were safe at the old house.

I'm looking forward to talking to my lawyer to confirm that H is not planning on contesting the sole custody issue. It's only INTERIM (temporary) right now, but an excellent start. And now that it's here, to the best of my understanding, it makes it all the more likely that I'll get the full sole custody when this whole case is over with.

Well... gotta go. I need to do some exercise (I bought myself a stationary bike, a promise I made to myself when I was in shelter), and then do some tidy up for when the CAS worker arrives (in the next hour or so).

Karen

WAHOO!

Good for you and the boys.

Karen,

Congrat ... I guess justice is not blind at north of the border after all.

-rh-

That's wonderful news Karen. The last time I diligently checked the boards I caught another of your updates and went back to read more. I'm so glad I got to see this extremely positive update. I hope things continue to go so well, and that permanent sole custody is in your near future. My best to you and your boys. Take care, and congrats.

I met with my lawyer this afternoon, and I'm feeling even MORE at ease than I was yesterday! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I signed an agreement with CAS today, stating that I would take every reasonable action to ensure the safety and well-being of my boys. This includes leaving them with a "babysitter". It is to be with someone whom I know well, and who is aware of the situation and legal limits on H (so that they would report him, should he break his conditions). You know what? This means that my in-laws are NOT fitting as "supervisors" over my children with their son (H). <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> (b/c I do not feel comfortable with it) THANK YOU CAS!!! Now my lawyer has sufficient argument against my in-laws being supervisors to access, should "Merrymount" (the supervised visitation facility) not be allowed.

H's "story" continues to change with the lawyers. At first he vehemently denied any wrong-doings whatsoever. He claimed that he only ever hit OS on his bum. He claimed that I planted the child porn cd's. NOW, he says that he never hit OS "that hard", and that he just might have downloaded some child porn in 'error' <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> but that the rest was planted by me. (did you know, that in order for me to plant it all... I would have had to be out to "get him" for YEARS!!! - this, according to the dating on the files. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ).

If no changes are to be made to his bail conditions to allow him to use Merrymount, this would also mean that he would not be allowed ANY access to his kids. I thought the boys were exceptions to his being in their presence... but I was wrong. He can't be around ANY child under 14 yrs of age.

My lawyer has also advised that I NOT mail my in-laws the 8"x10" photo. She worries that they could put something in the envelope, and claim that I did it (after all, they'd have the stamped envelope and a short letter from me too). So, although I had told my IL's I would give them my new addy and number once custody was established, my lawyer has advised against it still. She'll be the one to inform them, when she deems it necessary.

My lawyer will next be meeting with H's family lawyer on March 25th. At that time, it will be known whether or not H will have visitation with the boys, and how it would happen. Until then, I am to just take care of me and the boys. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Karen

Karen,

Sorry for being way late to this post.

I am so happy for you!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> This is a step in the right direction.

I may be late in responding, but I always follow what's going on with you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Hugs!
K

Thanks Knewjie! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> It's not really necessary to post... I know I have certain followers to my story (just like I do the same to others), and I also know, that there isn't always something to post in reply. Oh, and if you haven't already noticed... you have mail. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

UPDATE:

I saw my family doctor today, but am NOT going on anti-d's right now. He was upfront with commenting on my ambivilance to being on them (b/c I really don't like taking meds, not even aspirins). He's asked that I go back in a couple of weeks, and see how I feel then. At that time, I'll also be getting a full physcial (gosh I hate those! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ), and he'll do some bloodwork to check whether or not some of my depression symptoms might actually be stemming from a different source other than my brain. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

And according to my contact at the court house, there has been no request entered for changes in H's recognizance. Hmmm... I guess his lawyer doesn't really care if he gets visitation with his children. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> There are still 9 days to go, before the next family court date, so we'll see if anything happens.

Karen

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Topie25:
<strong>Thanks Knewjie! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> It's not really necessary to post... I know I have certain followers to my story (just like I do the same to others), and I also know, that there isn't always something to post in reply. Oh, and if you haven't already noticed... you have mail. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I know, but I wanted to, so <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I did notice I have mail. Did you see that you have mail back? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Love ya!
K

Yes I did see that Knewjie! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> But being blonde, I didn't see the mail until AFTER I posted to you on here! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Luv ya!
Karen

Hey Karen - jumping in a bit late too, but glad to hear your positive news.

Take care.
Lisa