I don't think coming out of the closet is the correct pop-phrase...But...
for some strange reason I keep getting accused of being a "him" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ..
and for some even stranger reason I feel the need to clarify that point...

perhaps it is because when I want to post my favorite jello recipe...people that think I am guy will think I'm "strange"...(OK that's stereo-typing I know...)...
but what will people think if I relate to anything that has to do with PMS?? or understand razor burn and bikini lines?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

And what if I confess my infatuation with pepperband...things could really get confusing...not mention poor mr. ark just waiting in the wings...

Know that no offense is taken when anyone doesn't know that I am female...but dang why do I go through all this drama, I swear I just tweezed my eyebrows yesterday...and no one has even noticed...

peace to all...
MRS. ARK

Why not add a little something to your signature line with the usual outline of A crap? (BS, WH, OP, whatever! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ). Geez... now that I think of it, I can't remember your story for the life of me!

I'm assuming you're the BW? That just seems to be the norm on here anyways (BS's).

You know the drill... take or leave my comments... it's no skin off of my nose either way! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Karen

Ark^^

I haven't posted to you about anything, but I always read whatever you post to others. You always make issues so clear.

I can't remember who you replied to one time, but it was regarding ways to react differently to issues and keep the ws a little off guard. I copied it into my journal. I'd love to hear your story. Where did you get such an inspiring intuition?

And where's the jello recipe.......? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Thanks for all the advice I've sponged from your posts to others.

Sincerely

Marykat

Ark^^, I must apologize. I think I posted something just yesterday that referred to you as "he". <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Your eyebrows look great, I wish I had the patience to tweeze mine! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Won't happen again my dear! (My only excuse is you can't tell from your name or sig line!)

Sorry,

Jen

Yikes,,,now I think I have really outed myself...

truth is that I am niether BS/WS/...or even OP <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Happily married going in twelve years...five year old, three year old and almost two year old...

truth is though, that this site saved my marriage and me....
So many past mistakes...so many past infringes and pain caused all because I bought so much of the I'm entitled to have all that I feel I should...

So much blame to others on any unhappiness I even thought I was feeling....yikes...never want to be that person again...

wasted time energy complaining about all my trials and made up tribulations....how my husband wasn't this or that...never looking and seeing what or who he was....oh the drama of it all...something now I can not and will not tolerate...luckily Mr. ark never cared for either....

came here and learned to see past so much...and see the effects of MY behavior on every aspect of my life...

Have been a RN for years...usually in jobs that encompass whole family issues rather than specific medical issues...homes for profoundly challenged and handicapped kids,,,years in a acute physciatric hospital (working not as a patient... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> )..lots of home care where you deal with ALL family dynamics...and currently weekend/nights part time adm of a rehab hospital..lots of drama and families facing acute life changes...spinal cord, head trauma etc...
Have seen a lot of issues and problems arise...and biggest way I have learned to help others is to take a look at what we CAN fix and what we CAN'T fix..and focus on what we can...

This site showed me so much...
people who are braver and saner than I think I will ever be...
people who have faced heart wrenching pain...uncalled for...and survived...
some with a sense of humor that makes you laugh while you cry...

So I come here...and listen...and try to be objective... and hope I don't piss anyone off to much...
I try to give back some thing of what I see...because so much of what I have read here has helped me deal with so many issues in my life...

There are days this site is nothing but heart breaking....and yet people go on struggling through the pain...and it draws me in each time...

I don't have a tag line becuause i don't know how to make one...I am really bad when it comes to figuring out this computer...besides what could I say except...
hey I am woman hear me roar!!!!!

see now you can read my posts..and go phhhthhhh what the heck does that dork know..???

Well that is way more than enough about me..

jello anyone?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
ARK

see now you can read my posts..and go phhhthhhh what the heck does that dork know..???

Well that is way more than enough about me..

Actually, I enjoyed reading about the person behind the very good advice I have seen given. I think you are a very wise person that is willing to share.

To add a tag line (or profile) look above these posts just under the MB logo and click on "my profile"
Over on the left click on "update my profile" and then do down to the signature box and type in what you want to appear on every post, then go to the bottom and click "update profile"

You can change it as often as you like.

The bottom line is: Thanks for all the good you do as you make the rounds, I have learned a lot from you.

SS

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">see now you can read my posts..and go phhhthhhh what the heck does that dork know..???
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Darn, and I thought you were pretty smart <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> .

I think it helps to have a few folk around who aren't BS/WS/OP.

As someone who has been embroiled, I know at times I relate all too well to certain confusing situations to be able to be as objective as 3 years of recovery should/could make me.

So, Ark, thanks...and I knew you were female <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> .

Ofcourse YOU did...lor

what male would be caught dead singing
Me and Bobby McGee at Karoke??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

ARK (with breasts)... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> well that really wouldn't work now either would it...men have breast also...
better figure out that signature line thingy-- majiggy...

Ark ^^ (are these two ^^ the breasts??)

Just so you will know, I always read your posts....and I know that you are a chick. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Thank you for sharing your story. I have wondered and didn't think I had ever read it.

Thank you for the contribution you make to me and to MB.

Susan

PS..please come to ladies chat sometime. You insight would be very valuable there.

<small>[ April 23, 2003, 04:56 PM: Message edited by: Susan ]</small>

ha ha susan that's funny..at first I was like huh?? I don't get it...then lightbulb finally flicked on...haha...

OH god i hope not...then I really would need a Fruedian based shrink...sheesh..
ark

ark--your'e too much-I'm lovin this-my kids are looking at me like I've really lost it this time(nothing new)I'm laughing out loud-thanks--I'm nosing in on these posts-mine are so dang pathetic,serious,it's so not me, I almost forgot to lighten up-read my "thread"or whatever the heck it's called (can't keep up with all this A lingo, it's a club a never thought I'd be a member at)it's under general questionsII"unbelievable story"last reply 4/14--
thanks for good/witty dialogue

oh and another thing. . .speaking of "coming out of the closet", I just thought about myself (the OMW)on that stupid cellphone (that mr."noone will ever know")bought me so I would only communicate with him---sitting in my closet(thank God for walk-ins)for months on that phone with "him"--now that I'm "out of the proverbial closet"I'm on this computer too much-time to get outside and enjoy my kids!

My dear Ark,

U R the female version of JL!!! LOL! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Your posts are always helpful and I for one certainly look forward to reading them.

Keep up the good work and thanks soo much for all your help.

Hugz,
L.
PS: I'd recommend changing your thread topic line..... on the other hand it is a eye catcher! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Just Kidding!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

ark remains me of the line in Mattrix:

Leo: "Your Trinity??" But I thought Trinity was a man.

Trinity: Most men do.

Ark,
I was never in doubt of your gender identification!
By the way, thanks for all your great and sane advice. It's appreciated. It's good of you to take the time to come here and share and help.

Goodness please know people..that I gain way more than I share...

I can't tell you how easily I could have been a WS...not because of anything lacking or present in my husband...but because of the easiness ...of buying the whole package of lies...

I couldn't help it...I felt so unhappy...
It would have had nothing to do with you...it was about me...
I didn't mean to hurt you...it wasn't about you...

uggh....to think at one time I could have bought that doo-doo....thank goodness it was a long time ago..and way way different person than I am now...

first years of marriage..any miniscule crisis...poor mr. ark would hear me moan and groan and threaten divorce over and over...thank god he stood by me...thank God he quietly explained one day the truth behind self fullfilling prophecy...and the road that I was on if I continued to see everything as this big dramatic reason to break up...that it could end up there...not what I wanted....uggh that person makes me shudder...

oh the name calling....from me...blush blush...
I was great at breaking things...and stupidly broke things i liked...glass pitchers..etc.drama queen....one day he comes in with this tray of old juice glasses and says...look next time you get mad and wanna break something ...would ya break one of these....cracked me up....and I have never thrown or broken a thing since....whoo hooo

It is so easy to live in misery...and to make everyone else around us accountable for our own feelings and actions....so easy....

It is to many here that I am thankful...for reminding me how important we all are in the universe..

ARK with jello recipes, skeletons in her closet..,and a tray of old glassware just waiting to broken...(OK that tag line doesn't work either)...

Ark...you are too cute. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

No wonder your husband never gave up...he saw the diamond in the rough.

And he is one lucky man now. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Susan <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Ark, Doesn't matter to me your gender...but I always assumed you were a woman having made reference to Mr. Ark in the past...

All I can say is that we're incredibly lucky to have you here...

Thank-you for letting us in on your transformation...that too is inspiring.

Hey, Ark...

Where do you live? I want to go to lunch with you one day. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Suz <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />