Triggers, those nasty little things that hit you when you're least expecting it. Like a pie in the face...a sawdust and broken glass pie.

Sometimes I don't know something is a trigger until I come across it...

Like, everytime I drive by the restaurant the OW and FWH went to. DOn't even think about it until I'm driving right next to it and my heart and stomach give a lurch.

Everytime I hear her name.

Vent if you like...what are your triggers?

Can't look at TV, especially in my bedroom where WH used to watch it. Can't listen to anything but NEW AGE of CLassical Music (No Words Allowed) and can't watch romantic movies which are my favorite. Can't do any MEDIA like that for some reason. That's wierd about me right now.

When he has to "run up to work" and takes a long time - this is when they use to im and email each other.

Hearing her name or even seeing her.

Even watching shows that are about As. Friends is a tough one.

Have you seen the commercial about the guy whose cheating on his wife (or gf) and a guy comes up to him and tees off into his crotch?

Just about everything is going to be a trigger starting at the end of the summer. It will be approaching the one year mark for when our M took a turn for the worse and all that happened during the A until I found out on DDAY. So I hope to stock up on good summer memories to get me throught what I believe will be a tough fall.

I have lots of triggers... the name Michelle (her name). Driving by where my husband used to work where it all started.
Movies, certain songs, and the type of car she drives.
But you know what it is getting easier... I don't know what I'd do if I saw her (major trigger).
Oh ya and my favorite restaurant which happens to be where she hung out because a former bf played in the band.
SH01

Her name , him on the computer, songs with cheating lyrics or songs like the JUDD's Grandpa tell me about the good old days! (heard this last night on way home cried like a baby!!) A movies , when he says he has to leave for work early, or work overtime... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

HIS FACE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by 3isacrowd:
<strong>HIS FACE !!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ditto 3!!! Same here.... not your H's face but mine!!! LOL!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Trigger 1: WS (at the time) shaved off his mustache he had since high school 3 months after he met PBR. Why did he do that? He did it about 3 weeks before d/d. OW didn't like his mustache when he kissed her. YUCK!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
Our son didn't like his dad without his mustache. Believe it or not, I want him to grow it back but he says it is easier to keep it off.

Trigger 2: Motel6 (had a suicide threatening call from WS when he was with OW @ M6). What a cheapo A. I told him and OW that I only frequent 3*** hotels or higher. LOL!!!

Trigger 3: Name - S____... OW and H's previous GF/1st fiancee both have the same name. In fact OW looked like the Chinese version of the 1st fiancee (Mexican) girl. Both have kinda long faces and not too pretty. I am not joking. I finally saw several her pictures on her website where she sells her wares. The first time I saw her it was a picture of her and her dog, then she was in a funny looking hat now it is just her face..... IMHO, she looked better when she was with the dog. LOL!!! No kidding! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Trigger 4: Cell phone. Independent answering services. I had to listen to 1 hour worth of voicemails in 3 minute incriments.... PBR loves to babble!

Trigger 5: Yosemite. He took her there and I saw the hotel bill where they registered as Mr/MRs. YUCK <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Trigger 6: The name of the city where she lives. Just over the hill from where I work. Always on the lookout that I may run into her one day at the mall.

Trigger 7: The restaurant she sometimes works in. She knows the owner. JFO this piece of info. I used to go there before with people from work. Too bad, the food was good, now I couldn't stomach it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Trigger 8: Jeeps - PBR had 2 of them.

Trigger 9: The restaurant where they met and kissed for the 1st time. I read the details in an e-mail. Very painful because I remember that evening and his excuse was he had to go give a quote to a customer..... funny how he took a shower and looked kinda nice when he left he house. This was before d/d. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Trigger 10: Our anniversary. Ow planned 'their' wedding on the same month (she always thinks ahead <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> ). Ow called on our anniversary and the next day. Almost ruined our planned jazz brunch in the city.

Trigger 11: The ocean.... driving up the coast. I love the ocean. H loves the mountains (yosemite). WS had planned to take OW up the coast. WS spent a day with OW at the ocean and when I spoke to him on the phone he said he was in the valley. Hmmph.... funny how the ocean can be heard 40 miles away!

L.

<small>[ May 31, 2003, 11:26 AM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>

Yeah love songs, and the newer " let's have hot casual sex" songs that the kids listen to, movies and tv shows about true love OR affairs, pictures or videos of us during those years,strip joints, bars, every place he met, kissed, went on a date with, or had sex with someone else, dates, names, women with the look he likes, places I might see one of the other women--that's a lot of places around our area over a 15 year period! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Sometimes I feel like I can't get AWAY from triggers because he muddied the whole pond, so to speak. I am learning that even though triggers bring emotionally violent reactions, the pain does lessen. Just a real bite dealing with them--gets really really tiring. Kind of like living with a tiger that sneaks up and bites you in the a** a lot!lol Somedays I feel really mangled; other days I get by with just tooth marks.

Pictures of him. Everytime I would see him on a cell phone. Her name (big one). Now that I'm in our home town, the place we met. The high school we went to. His Dad's house (he still has a one of our wedding pictures up in his living room) that was a tough one. We use to stay there when we would visit family. My old red mustang car. Believe me, atleast here I think of the old times we had. I don't have to dwell on all the places he took her.