Some have asked in the past about if they know of any couples or stories of couples who have managed to reconcile after a long term affair? I found one!

My Secretary is fast becoming a good friend. She was a customer of mine at one time and as I was expanding once mentioned an interest in a part time job. She has experience and no small children to worry about so I figured she'd be perfect. She's great!

Anyway, on the days I feel like procrastinating we often talk about relationships and books we're reading. We like a lot of the same type of stuff. In talking about what happend between H and I she revealed that when she and her H had problems many years ago, much of it was due to a long term A. Her H had a 20 year A with her best friend. She said she denied it for many many years, but once it was completely and undoubtly out in the open they still had many false recoveries (over a 5 year period). In the end she'd had enough and was truly ready to move on. That's when he finally realized he didn't really want the other woman.

That was all 10 years ago. My Secretary said that today she actually sits on a church board with the OW and they are friends again. It won't ever be the same, but she has forgiven her and they're able to still have a relationship. I asked her how that is, and she explained that they ALL made big changes. All of them were alcoholics, and both couples went for counseling. Plus it took lots of time and space for healing. But in the end both couples have remained together, and still interract in this small town.

Anyway, I thought those of you dealing with the long term affairs might want to hear that there are in fact happy endings out there.

h4f:

Thank you very much for posting that story!!!

The length of my W's A with RM - 11 years - and the fact that she has never, maybe never will, agree 2 NC, has been a big problem for me for 17 months now.

This story gives me a lot of hope, even if I don't know the outcome of our sitch.

regards,
-2long

2long, I thought it might give you some hope.

In their situation there was a very long period of NC. My secretary insisted upon it, and so did their counselor. They were actually seperated for a while and were getting ready to divorce. So in that fashion, it's much like H and I. I guess some of us are incredibly thick headed until we just about lose everything.

Hello H4F, I just wanted to let you know that your post came at a time when I was just asking God about giving up...

Thanks for the uplift. It showed up miraculously and helped me to continue to hold when everyone else has given up.

Hugs to you