Help! I'm kinda sorta freaking out here.

I fixed my H's e-mail to forward sent e-mails. I cannot afford spyware yet. He has been corresponding w/his brother who is in the military and in Iraq right now. His brother sent him an e-mail to go check out a web site. Said he wanted to go there for his bachelor party and wanted to pay my H's way. It was a fantasy island type place for men!!!! My H e-mail'd him back saying maybe they should go to Amsterdam instead. Said he was told there was beautiful women in the red light district for about $50. Then said he didn't send the "stuff" to him yet. He did not have enough money left over from his paycheck to send him the "stuff." Said his mom was sending him money to get him cigs and he would send the cigs with the "stuff."

Brother replied. Didn't mention "stuff." But said, he wanted H to go open a PO box and to send him our childrens ss#'s and that he was going to open a USAA account for H.

WHAT DO YOU THINK IS GOING ON????? I'm not going to mention it yet to see if I can find more out. Now I REALLY want to go get the spyware!!!

His brother is not the best typist in the world so maybe he was saying he was going to open an account for the kids for savings. But why a PO box?

I knew that his brother had asked him to send something before I saw this e-mail and asked H about it. He said brother just wanted him to send some cigs. I said nothing else? He said no. Said he was going to buy them because they were cheaper here.

And why in the He** would his brother offer to send him to a "fantasy island"?????? I am pretty upset about that as well. Does he know more about H than I do and that my H would go for something like that? Why is his brother not honoring our marriage vows???? Why is H trying to go to Amsterdam with him??? We don't even have the money to vacation as a family. If he was really wanting to work on marriage (4 mos post D-day), why would he want to do this???

Am I reading too much into this?????

Oh boy... you have reason to be paranoid. It if were me, I'd keep watching the emails. Your H will probably email him the address to mail box. then I'd get the key and check out what was sent to the box.

And I would not feel guilty. Your husband is out of line as is his brother. YOu have the right to know what is going on in your life so you can decide if you want to be married to a man who will sneak around behind your back.

As for spy software, how computer literate are you?

<small>[ July 06, 2003, 11:56 PM: Message edited by: Zorweb ]</small>

Zorweb,
Thanks for the reply. I am somewhat computer literate. I have become even more advanced since the A. I usually just use my work computer. I have two small children so do not really have time to get onto the computer at home. H cannot email from work as far as I know. He usually only uses computer at home.
I mentioned again last night that I didn't like how I felt in re to him not being very open about his family and what's going on w/us, etc. Mentioned him saying before he was going to send his brother something. He said, "What happened last time we had this conversation." I said, "I don't know." He said, "We ended up in a fight because you didn't want me to send him liquor." I said, "Yeah, because you are not suppose to." He said, "Well if my brother asked for it, I'm sending it. If I was over there, I would want to know that my brother was going to send me what I asked for. I am sending him skin mags." I know they are NOT suppose to have skin mags in that country as well. I just didn't say anything else.
I mentioned how minister said it was important to surround yourself with people w/similar values, etc. and that he still has a problem w/not playing by society's rules a/k/a knowing that he shouldn't be sending that stuff over to his brother and yet he is going to because it is his brother.
I just seem to be learning things I do NOT like about my H since the A. I don't know if he was hiding the "real" person that he was from me for as long as he could OR my rose-tinted glasses have been removed.
Anyway, yes, I am somewhat computer literate. I just need to make sure I buy something that he CANNOT detect as he is pretty computer literate himself. He would not suspect me as long as I don't act like I know anything. I just want to gather as much info as possible to make my decision as to how much more time and effort to put into this M. I was all for counseling, etc. (he has only been to 3 sessions in 4 mos.) BUT he does not seem as gung ho. Seems to think just because he ended A, everything should be fine.
I hate to say it but I am scared that I had two children by this man who has questionable values. I am willing to work w/him though if he will meet me half way. But if I find more out about what he is planning and that he is just pretending around me, I need to get out while he hasn't completely ruined all chances of this being an amicable parting.