I have just got to post this today. Many of you know that I have been around for a few years, and have stayed to offer some hope to the new folks. Relationships are part of the field I worked in before I stayed home with the kids.

I told you before that I have read and read on this topic. I have followed many stories from the point of view of BS and WS as well as read a great deal on the OW.

OK, my opinon, for what it's worth (OK, my 2 cents), the relationship with the OP falls apart. Everyone suffers, but usually the married couple survives with a few scars, unless the BS chooses to move on. It is a matter of stamina. If the BS can take it, the marriage can survive even the worst of affairs. There comes a point (Plan B) where some WSs have to be pushed off the fence, but usally they find the OP not the one of their dreams.

I had read the less than 3% of those relationships survive, but have truely seen this played out in many cases.

Keep your heads up high today. The ball really is in your court. I know that every case is different, but really, this is the way it usually goes.

One other thing, watch out, they frequently keep seeing the OP after d-day. Takes a little while for things to calm down.

NewJersey,

I would like your 2 Cents.

My WW and I have been married for 10 years. No children and no major financial problems as we both work and live within our meens.

So according to my WW she hasn't been happy for some time, years according to her. I did notice changes and tried to talk about things but got the "nothings wrong" or "I don't know what's wrong". Total avoidance.

So at the beginning to 2002 my WW starts her affair with a married friend of ours. Then in March of 2003 she confesses to the affair and leaves as does OM.

3 months after leaving (June) WW goes no-contact on me and has remained this way other than on 2 occasions. The affiar continues to this day.

So my question is this - Why do you think WW ignored what she viewed as problems in our marriagage and now won't even talk to me or see me.

I can only think of the obvious.

1) She's trying to regain some balance and show loyalty towards one relationship.

2) She is trying to push me away and avoid her true feelings she still has for me. Out of sit,out of mind.

3) She is a Walk a Way Wife and doesn't care or need me anymore.

The shocking thing for me to come to terms with is we had a good marriage and now WW is gone and cutting me out of her life.

For 12+ years together we had Daily - I love you's, hugs, kisses, sharing of household duties, carear support, trust, respect and anytime we were apart we always called each other.

I'm in shock as are many of our family and friends. Our life outside our home was the same as inside and everyone thought we had a good marriage. Well except my wife I guess.

Just looking for a differant perspective.

NJ.

Great words. Would you consider coming over to my thread about Plan B Support?

I think your background and insight would be a beacon to all of us that are in Plan B. We need to keep hearing the reinforcement, the statistics, to know that there is hope.

Hope you will consider.

ISG