Then why get married at all? Why not just stay single and help yourself to all the people you want? Why marry and torture some well-meaning husband or wife who *thought* you wanted only them?

And while I'm at it, let me say out furious it makes me when I hear some OP whine that "I didn't take vows with him -- he took them with her! He's the one who broke the vows, not me!"

Well, for god's sake, why do you think all marriages are a matter of public record? So that the parents can see their kids' names in the paper? Why are most marriages begun by a wedding in front of as many family members and friends as possible? So that everyone can admire the bride's dress?

Marriages are public ceremonies because the point is to notify everyone of this couple's new status in life -- the status that they have indeed taken vows to each other and that those vows are sacred.

"Sacred" means "Not To Be Messed With. By ANYONE." That's why everyone is NOTIFIED of this change in status so that THEY WILL KNOW IT'S NOT TO ME MESSED WITH. NOT TO BE INTERFERED WITH. BY ANYONE.

How long do people think they can keep on bending the system before it BREAKS and there is no system left to bend???

Too late. Already happened. There's no system left to bend.