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<small>[ November 02, 2003, 09:56 PM: Message edited by: Free2BMe ]</small>

I have a lot of that, too. Right now, I think of my M as a barren field where nothing will ever grow. You can sit in it, walk around it, discuss it with your friends, but it looks like nothing will ever grow there again. So it's best to go somewhere else.

My feelings about H and OW & her clan have not changed -- but the importance of these people in my life has shrunk. In Plan B, I've continued to grow and change, and this imbroglio has been engulfed by other patterns and drives in my life.

There is still lots of clean-up to do with the mess that was left in the field -- but right now, I just keep trying to move to higher ground inside myself. (I don't mean any lofty or holier-than-thou place, but just looking for windows instead of standing in front of closed doors.)

I'd do everything you can to avoid OW. It just takes you back to sitting in the empty field, contemplating it's barrenness, when there's nothing you can change about it right now, perhaps ever.

I answered you on your xh's thread.

How many A's did your FWH have?

Mine had two .. and I can say thar I am not bitter toward him or OW. So yes you can be "bitter free" ... but as I said in your xh thread in answer to what you wrote there ... it is your choice.

way2

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<small>[ November 02, 2003, 09:57 PM: Message edited by: Free2BMe ]</small>

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<small>[ November 02, 2003, 09:57 PM: Message edited by: Free2BMe ]</small>

Well...you might consider that transfer for the OW, if it wouldn't harm her any (i.e., if you're sure "revenge" wouldn't be a motive, or be seen to be revenge by others). Not a matter of rages, just a matter of how many unnecessary associations you want to pull up in a day, that might be distracting for you.

(For that matter, it might be a relief for her. You might be professional, but maybe it would be distracting for her.)

<small>[ November 02, 2003, 06:29 PM: Message edited by: A.M.Martin ]</small>

Free,

R U the one many on the TOW board is going to miss? Can you answer why you are so tight with the TOW board? Seems like you are their champion of sorts. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

As for any disagreements with you and your xh well seems like it goes a bit both ways. Something you each have to work on separately.

If you are an XW and the person you are seeing is not married then you are not an OW but if he is whether or not is has the spouses blessings (crazy as that sounds) still makes one an OW. I can't say which one you are, just hope it isn't the later. The pain you suffered with your H's EA/PAs s/b enough to warrant your knowing and keeping a safe distance from such a relationship. That goes for all of us.

To be a BS and be the one sorely missed on the TOW board (OM/OW only section) is well least to say highly questionable. Of course it is a 'free' country and you can post wherever you choose. Just kinda struck an odd note.

It doesn't take much to see 1 week's worth of a soap opera in a few minutes. It also doesn't take long to read the TOW site and see the how one's selfish desires are driven to hurt sooo many. I know the OWs are a combination of married and single women, still doesn't make it right to invade another's family.

You know another odd thing? I saw the TOW symbol at the top showing the BS as a witch, the WS as a devil and a shadow of an angel (OW????). Really? Is that how they view themselves? Wow. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

JMHO,
L.

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<small>[ November 02, 2003, 09:58 PM: Message edited by: Free2BMe ]</small>

Free,

I appreciate your respect and it was with that intent that I posted. I don't know what you posted on your thread, I saw the responses.

Free, unlike some of the other TOW posters, you know 1st hand the BS pain. All the more reason why I posted to you.

There is an underlying reason why the 2 of you can't deal with your situations in a civil manner. U 2 are not married anymore. Of course that is a challenge in itself. I understand.

The part I don't understand is the high regard the TOWs have for you. Like you were one of their own. Hm..... each is entitled to their own opinion but I certainly hope you are not 'one of their own'.

Free, I was reaching out to you in an attempt to see where you were at now and how you were doing.

L.

End of story.

<small>[ November 02, 2003, 09:59 PM: Message edited by: Free2BMe ]</small>