Hello --
I'm new to this forum, but am in MB counseling.
We are three months post-confession by my H that he had "fooled around" with our child's nanny several years ago. He told me because the nanny's husband was making threatening phone calls to our home.
Of course there's more history, but in a nutshell: I am trying to work my assignments, but I need advice or encouragement. I have filled out the forms, have shared them with H and am working on my plan, but I cannot make love to my husband without feeling just sick. I cannot get what he did out of my mind. I do not want to be with him, but I am here to try because I want what's best for my children. (9 y.o and 14 yo stepson). I do try. I try to have an open heart, I try not to show resentment, but it takes everything for me not to burst into tears and cry after sex. (Sometimes, I do, but I try not to in front of him). I just feel empty. I can tell he is trying in his own way, but I am not feeling any more love for him than I did before.
Our marriage was rocky before his revelation. (I bought MB several years ago -- he never was interested, so I gave up. Then when I stopped caring whether he did MB, he was desperate to do it.)
The night before Thanksgiving, I told him I was struggling badly and couldn't get his infidelity out of my mind. That was a mistake. We ended up in a terrible argument. I just feel so sad.
Anybody who's been down this road have any advice?
Thanks -
Michelle
P.S. Is there a place where I can see what all the acronyms mean? I understand some, but not most of them.