I think I've read everything there is to read on SA (books, via web, even counseling). Here is my story. D-day 2 years ago. Asked H if he is having affair. H blew up. After months of hell and different counselors H is SA. Told me about a client of his. Originally said he thought of leaving me for her. Throughout months of bull, he told me he had feelings for her, he thought of leaving me for her, he wasn't in love with me anymore,etc. Thinking back I tried blinding myself (stupid, huh?). During this time he wanted nothing to do with me. He would give me a kiss on the cheek or head (I felt like a kid). H is contractor and one morning he was to go over to her place to finish up job. She called and said she wasn't going to be there she would leave orders to have someone let him in. 3 hours later phone ringds and it is her. Asks if H is here. She fell asleep and didn't leave orders. I called him on cell phone, he was just leaving parking lot at her place and said in a very angry way,"why didn't she call me instead of you?" When I asked him regarding this months ago he said he waited because no orders were left and then fell asleep in the lobby. He did say he wondered if he could have gotten to know her better that day.

He said during contact with her he would masturbate to the thought of her. The fantasy during the act, she was telling him to leave me for her. Once contact broke off all he fantasized about was the act.

6months later she pops up again. The day he was suppose to meet her (re: a job) , he made sure I ironed his best shirt and he made sure he looked his best (was in the bathroom forever).

When I ask now waht was that about he says he doesn't know. But nothing ever happened.

We're both in counseing. But I've had about enough. He was telling me lies (according to H worse then what it was). Trust is real hard give because I feel the bull is still out there. Can anyone give me some input? I would appreciate it.