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#1112062 02/13/04 07:17 PM
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My FHW and I are in IC (separate C) and are at a point where we want to start MC. Our C's have suggested we visit each other's Cs together for a few sessions, then go from there to chose a steady for MC. We are both pretty comfortable with this.
Does this sound like something that is a good idea? Has anyone else done the same thing? Or should we find a separate MC altogether?

#1112063 02/13/04 08:36 PM
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Both my wife's and mine IC serves as our MC as well.

It can be a plus and a minus.

When she was in the denial stage it was not a healthy setup. I was paranoid that she was telling our therapist things and our therapist was not telling me. I was very confrontational in the early MC meetings because I knew the story she was saying just wasn't true.

But now that we are actually working on recovery its a huge plus. Because she can work with both of us in our IC sessions so that when we have MC we both are on the same page with each other.

#1112064 02/14/04 09:54 AM
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by stunned-dad-fast recovering:
<strong> Both my wife's and mine IC serves as our MC as well.

It can be a plus and a minus.

When she was in the denial stage it was not a healthy setup. I was paranoid that she was telling our therapist things and our therapist was not telling me. I was very confrontational in the early MC meetings because I knew the story she was saying just wasn't true.

But now that we are actually working on recovery its a huge plus. Because she can work with both of us in our IC sessions so that when we have MC we both are on the same page with each other. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">SDFR,
My FWH was/is not in denial, didn't have withdrawl, and is whole-heartedly into recovery. I thought it would be good for both of us to visit each other's C so that in the beginning we both feel "represented" in some way. We are going to my C the week after next together.

I am so excited about getting into MC! We really want to learn and move on from here.

Thanks for your response!

#1112065 02/14/04 10:14 AM
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My WH and I each have our own IC, and a separate MT. We chose that because my WH is having trust issues. However, he gave permission for our MT to communicate with his IC (and of course I gave my permission for MT to talk to my IC), and he and I both gave permission for our IC to communicate with each other.

I think our IC, out of necessity, kind of take sides, for our own mental health. So, I don't know how effective, without trust issues involved, going to each other's IC would be.

Hmmmmmm, interesting. Keep posting and let us know how it is going!

Amy


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