Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#1112062 02/13/04 08:17 PM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,929
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,929
My FHW and I are in IC (separate C) and are at a point where we want to start MC. Our C's have suggested we visit each other's Cs together for a few sessions, then go from there to chose a steady for MC. We are both pretty comfortable with this.
Does this sound like something that is a good idea? Has anyone else done the same thing? Or should we find a separate MC altogether?

#1112063 02/13/04 09:36 PM
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 2,541
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 2,541
Both my wife's and mine IC serves as our MC as well.

It can be a plus and a minus.

When she was in the denial stage it was not a healthy setup. I was paranoid that she was telling our therapist things and our therapist was not telling me. I was very confrontational in the early MC meetings because I knew the story she was saying just wasn't true.

But now that we are actually working on recovery its a huge plus. Because she can work with both of us in our IC sessions so that when we have MC we both are on the same page with each other.

#1112064 02/14/04 10:54 AM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,929
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 1,929
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by stunned-dad-fast recovering:
<strong> Both my wife's and mine IC serves as our MC as well.

It can be a plus and a minus.

When she was in the denial stage it was not a healthy setup. I was paranoid that she was telling our therapist things and our therapist was not telling me. I was very confrontational in the early MC meetings because I knew the story she was saying just wasn't true.

But now that we are actually working on recovery its a huge plus. Because she can work with both of us in our IC sessions so that when we have MC we both are on the same page with each other. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">SDFR,
My FWH was/is not in denial, didn't have withdrawl, and is whole-heartedly into recovery. I thought it would be good for both of us to visit each other's C so that in the beginning we both feel "represented" in some way. We are going to my C the week after next together.

I am so excited about getting into MC! We really want to learn and move on from here.

Thanks for your response!

#1112065 02/14/04 11:14 AM
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 2,442
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 2,442
My WH and I each have our own IC, and a separate MT. We chose that because my WH is having trust issues. However, he gave permission for our MT to communicate with his IC (and of course I gave my permission for MT to talk to my IC), and he and I both gave permission for our IC to communicate with each other.

I think our IC, out of necessity, kind of take sides, for our own mental health. So, I don't know how effective, without trust issues involved, going to each other's IC would be.

Hmmmmmm, interesting. Keep posting and let us know how it is going!

Amy


Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,352 guests, and 57 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5