My husband and I haven't spoken since Wednesday night. I think he is expecting to me call because of Valentine's Day tomorrow, but should I? I want to see him so badly. I love him and miss him so damn much it physically hurts.

I usually give him a gift, but tonight I only picked up a small card that said "Husband" on the front and "I love you" on the inside. That's it. I signed it, Love, Me.

For Christmas I picked out this beautiful card to go along with all of the presents I got him, only to have it returned to me unopened with all of the unwrapped Christmas gifts that I gave him.
He brought all of the gifts to my apartment while I was at work. Can you even imagine how it felt to have to unwrap the presents after I wrapped them so lovingly? I cried the entire time. I also cried after I loaded them into my car to take them back. A really cool Sony home theater system and a recordable DVD/VDR player. I bunch of other clothing and accessories for the DVD recorder and small things. I also cried after making the returns between each store. I am such a wimp.

I am going to try to keep myself busy tomorrow. I get my hair highlighted at 10:30am. That usually takes about 3 hours. After that, I am at a loss for something to do. He goes to work at 4pm. He is then off Sunday and Monday, as am I. Monday is a holiday for me and those 2 days are his scheduled day off.

I have been praying for him every day, asking God to please show him the way back to our marriage. What else can I do? Begging, pleading and crying have absolutely no impact on him. I certainly don't do it on purpose but I cannot help myself sometimes. It is so hard to Plan A when he made me leave our home.

I didn't get a Christmas present from him. Oh wait - I did get a football jersey for my favorite team and a Kid Rock CD that I had my eye on. Usually, he goes all out. There are still 2 big boxes in our living room wrapped for CHristmas with my name on it. Also, an envelope with a big card with my name on it. They've been sitting there since Christmas and he hasn't mentioned them at all. They can sit there forever at this point. I thing he is waiting for me to say somthing about them. I wouldn't accept them at this point anyway because he wouldn't accept my presents for him. WTF?

Sorry for the long ramble, but the anticipation of hearing from him is making me nuts.