can someone with experience read the topic "Confused Husband" and give advice??? Her situation requires her to make some decisions on how to deal with marriage situation.

Thanks so much for trying to get me some advice.
That's so sweet. I guess I'm really muddling through o.k. by myself and with the advice from my friends.

Today my husband and I were talking and all of a sudden I had this thought that hit me like a lightening bolt. Something about the way he was looking at me and holding his head that made me realize that he really just doesn't think he's good enough for me! Whether it stems from me nagging him to spend time with me and him just hearing the nagging part, or whether it stems from my being upset about the drinking I don't know.

All of a sudden I realized he went and found someone else that thinks he's good enough. I guess that's where all the unmet emotional need junk comes in. Well, I bought him a single red rose and write him a card explaining how much I love and care for him and how I didn't want him to be a different person that I just wanted to spend time with who he really was and all the things I love about him and how he definitely was good enough for me. My instincts in this thing have been right on so I'm hoping they will be with this too. Anyway he'll get the card and rose tomorrow when I'm at work . Hopefully it will touch a chord in his heart.

If I'm right maybe we'll be a litle closer to recovery. We have actually been much closer in alot of ways than we have in a long time. The only things that are holding us back from complete recovery s far as our marriage goes is the fact that he still has too much contact with the OW and that he still doesn't know what he wants out of life.
i.e. singleness or married life Maybe just maybe this will help him get a little closer to figuring that part out. I realize he has alot to work on as far as the drinking etc...

Anyway I'll keep you posted.

Rebeccarachel,

thanks for the update, i am surprised you have not gotten more responses yet. This place really is usually much more responsive. Lets bump your original post up to the top again too.
I am glad you are still hanging around here!!

Your idea of the card and rose is very sweet. I hope the card and rose has a good impact on him. Let me know.

Rebeca,

I thin you should post in Plan A/Plan B. There will be a lot more advice to come in.

Are you in Plan A yet? Did you get the book Surving An Affair? If not so, get it. Read all the details, then you would have an idea.

Does she really need to move to Plan A/Plan B to get a better response????

I am again putting out a plea for some more experience people here to look at the Confused Husband topic posted by Rebeccarachel

Please come help!!!!!

bumping up!!!