I hope you will all indulge me sharing my very strange thoughts this morning. Just like H is in fog land, I realize I am obviously going INSANE. Unfortunately you folks might be the ony people out there who might get my insanity.

I woke up this morning, looked in the mirror, and thought, "Another glorious day on this road to recovery!" I then began remembering some thoughts I had the other day that I found somewhat funny. I had these thoughts as you, my MB friends, were giving me your strategic advice. I thought we could create one heck of a strategic game. Given the amount of infidelity, there could be a huge market for our game. We could market it as the new strategic game, "How to Survive Infidelity." Hey, I am open to suggestions on the name of the game. Here is how the game has gone for me so far.

WH begins dribbling out truth on 1/8/04. Not calling it an A yet, just feelings he has which have not been revealed. I (BS) go into major depressed mode. Can't eat, sleep, cry constantly, and am totally anxious. Can't move back any spaces because there aren't any spaces to move back to. Stay on "START". WH goes on vacation 12 days later to AZ. because God knows he needs it. Still stuck on START. Call doctor on 1/20/04 and ask her for AD. I get to move forward 3 spaces. Join MB site on 1/24/04 and move forward another 5 spaces. H returns from much deserved vacation and reveals EA on 1/29/04. Call OW at work and move forward 5 spaces. H fires OW next day. Move forward 5 spaces. The enormous pain of betrayal sets in. Move back 5 spaces. H is enormously remorseful and guilt ridden. Move forward 3 spaces. Find out the EA was a PA on 2/3/04. Sick of lies, move back 5 spaces. H has enormous insights. Realizes he has been in fog state and now he is finding himself again. Wants to save our M. Move forward 5 spaces. Affection and talking is occuring, move forward 2 spaces. I learn more info and feel extreme anger. H begs me not to leave him. Remain on present space. OW's last day at work 2/27/04. I decide I need to talk to her. H shows more caring and concern for her than me. Move back 10 spaces, but I get a prize because it felt soooo good. H is extremely angry and says his love bank is dry and might never be able to fill up again. I realize my love bank is pretty dry. I stay on present space. I get to pick a card telling me to go to MB site to conference with the command center. The generals conferenced. Some disagreement among the ranks on whether to Plan A or Plan B. Bottom line, ignore H because he is in major fog state, and don't put up with any crap. Move forward 2 spaces just because I feel better. Buy H Macademia nuts at grocery store because recently mentioned he likes them. Want to make sure his "love bank" begins filling up again. H actually comments on nuts. Lucky me gets to move forward 1 whole space. H moves from intense anger at my extreme insensitivity of talking to OW, to being civil. Still no affection or kisses hello and goodbye. Will stay on my present space for now. Pick MC card, which will begin tomorrow. The game continues.

I hope you all have as much fun as I'm having playing this recovery game. By recovery I mean our recovery, because only God knows whether the marriage recovery will happen or not. Thanks MBers for helping me stay in this game!

I think that by writing this very humerous post, which means you are still alive and loving life, you get to move ahead one more space.

You are ahead of me! I think I had moved ahead about 3 spaces in 8 weeks, but after last week I know I am back on start.

Hopefully I will move somewhere this week, and maybe even get to draw a card! YAY. Very exciting.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Amy

Amy, I will admit to being "Still Alive." I can't quite claim that I am actually enjoying life right now. I am hoping that will come again one day.

I would say to you that you are moving forward. You are here and you are strong. Remember it isn't all about the marriage. It's also about you growing as a person. Hang in there!

I also forgot to mention one other major card I picked in my game. The "Amazing Depression Weight Loss System" card. I was able to lose 8 lbs. in 3 weeks, which took me below a plateau I just couldn't break for years. See there are some silver linings in these dark clouds!

CV55 -

I was talking about personal recovery! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

No, I guess I have moved a couple spaces off start with regards to that. You are right. But I did move several spaces back last week. Rough week.

Anyway, I have you beat in what I call the stress diet. 30 pounds in 6 weeks! I didn't even know that kind of thing was possible. Took me down below a plateau I hadn't been able to break for years. Although, my plateau was mental. I exercise a lot, I just ate enough to maintain, not gain or lose.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Amy <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

CV55

I am also playing this game. I was half way around the board once and then I got sent to start again. I have moved forward 1 space in the last 3 weeks. Since Nov. 1st I have lost 40 lbs on the "I love the OW diet". I needed to, but it definitely came off quick. I still have 30 more to go, maybe the plan B card I picked yesterday will help me lose that also. I hope to get doubles when I roll the dice this Fri. and move forward a few more spaces in the next few weeks. Great playing this game with you!

There is a huge market!

I just don't know if people would want to suffer the side-effects of the stress diet.

Anxiety attacks, no sleep, racing heart, light-headedness, upset stomach, (I know it's an ugly word but I'm going to attempt to spell it anyway) diarrea, each minute of each day seeming like an eternity in hell, broken heart, confused mind, anger, rage, uncontrollable sobbing, inability to think or function, feelings of approaching insanity, . . . Hm, have I missed any?

We would have to have a large label to put all that stuff on. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Amy

Ladies, I'm laughing out loud reading your posts. I guess that I'm not the only insane person on this site. I wondered how my post would be received. I do hope some of the men on here tell us how the recovery game is going for them. And remember all of you WSs on this site, you also are playing this game. It might be a little different slant. Actually do you all think you should have your own game? I haven't figured that detail out yet. Maybe we could market 2 games.

Oh, and you all have thoroughly depressed me with your amazing weight losses. My meager little 8 lbs. seem like nothing now. Of course I did lose an additional 8 lbs. starting last summer. I actually was trying to lose that weight. Oh heck, I'm still happy about those 8 lbs. I have shrunk 2 sizes. Gee, I think my "Love Bank" has just filled up a little. I'll move forward 2 spaces, plus the one space Amy gave me. Just realized I need to jump back a few. Why you ask? Because I'm sitting on this computer, not accomplishing anything, and definitely not studying for my licensure exam so I can get a job. Will need that if WS doesn't get his S#$T together. All right, I get to move forward just because I am seeing some humor in this dismal experience. OK, I am shutting up now.

CV55..... funniest post I've seen in weeks. Glad you have maintained a great sense of humor.

My game is going something like this...

Think I'm playing alone but unknown fog obscures possible opponent. Roll dice. Asked question about infidelity. Mumbled answer, move one space.

Opponent? rolls dice. Unexplained absence? Wrong answer, but gets bonus question. Are you having an affair? Shock/disgust in response. Back two spaces.

I roll again. Staking out suspected OM's house. No evidence. Back two spaces.

Opponent rolls. Out till late again, comes home drunk. Upon questioning, admit to having "friend". 5 moves forward.

My roll. Wife out with g-friends. I make a call, g-friends are HOME. 2 moves forward.

Opponent rolls. Drunk wife blocking intersection as OM sends her home pie-faced. Opponents face totally obscured by fog, no good answers. Move back 4 spaces.

My roll. Bought two way recorder, caught 20 phone call. Move 10 spaces. Bonus play. Played back recording. W denies the truth, which would have convicted OJ. Fog unbearable. Move back 10 spaces.

W agrees to counseling. Forward 2 spaces. W lies to counselor about A. Lose 5 spaces.

Found MB. Forward 10 spaces. Bought SAA, forward 10 more. Bonus play, called OM, he denied everything. Back 10 spaces.

W promised no contact. Forward 4 spaces. W broke no contact 4 times in 6 months...... Board catches fire! Cat and I both singed. Smoke mixes with fog, can't see my own reflection in mirror. Thought I'd become invisible. Go back to Start!

Threatened Plan B, with full intent. W knows fuse is short, time running out. 5th promise NC, still intact. Fog clearing. 6 wks, no contact. Move forward 4 spaces, carefully, with love and patience!

Let W see this post... go back to Start, AGAIN.

SD

I have been on this diet several times and let me tell you, it beats any Atkins, South-Beach or Cabbage-Soug Diet. ;-) But just like you mentioned, I do not like the side-effects as they can be severe.

In all honesty though, I do worry about the effect this has on my health. I'm far from being overweight and during first D-Day, I lost 18 pounds in about 3-4 weeks. Visited my dentist for an appointment later on and he didn't even recognize me anymore.

I have gotten better, not letting things get me 'physically ill' anymore, but I still loose weight. Every single time.

Please stay healthy. Loosing weight is a good thing, but not on this diet.

Kati

PS... between dealing w/A and Dr. Atkins I lost 30 lbs. Gained 8 back since life has mellowed a bit.

SD

I'm glad you are all, dare I say enjoying this game? Kati, you're right, rapid weight loss is not exactly healthy. Especially if you don't have any weight to lose. In my case losing weight meets Harley's "Physical Attractiveness" guideline. Because as we all know it's all about meeting H's needs.

SD, your post was funnier than mine. The part about OJ had me LOL. I like the apponent twist you gave the game. I didn't think about that. Wow, my game as been easier than yours so far. Of course mine has just started. I don't think my H is ready to read about this game yet.

Today the game continued. I picked the following card and moved back one space. "You are no longer in a deep depression. Food no longer tastes like dust. Food now is comfort." I proceeded to wolf down an assortment of nuts and trail mix. Of course I did not touch H's macedamia nuts because I didn't want to deplete his "love bank." Tonight I got to move forward one space because I exercised. SD, I don't have a sister and my mom's dead. So my best friend over these tortuous months (THE DOG) and I took a very long walk while listening to some really fine music. I actually found myself having a little lilt in my walk. Odd since I was crying all day on Friday. I guess that's part of this game. Anyway, found myself thinking of all of you MBers. If it weren't for H's A I would never be talking to all you fine folks, BSers and unfogged WSers alike. You all have amazing courage and humor in my eyes. I think if I could meet with you all once a week I could get over H in no time. OOps, not the point of this site.

I then thought of that guy on Saturday Night Live who used to look in the mirror and do affirmations. So I said to myself, "You're cute, you're funny, you're smart, and you're special. And you will survive." Heck, I've been telling my clients for months to do affirmations, I figured it was time I followed my advice. I know, I have been very weird today. However, tomorrow I might be crying again, so I need to go with this flow.

Finally, my opinion is the WSers should not have their own game. No offense intended, but us BSers wouldn't be playing this game if it weren't for you. So I guess we're stuck in it together. What happens if the WS goes back to the OP? Do they get thrown out of the game?

I just picked up on this. First, I realize that DARN I have no sense of humor of my own (I think this will explain...I am an accountant....)

Second, while the subject matter is very serious, your posts were absolutely hilarious. I do think it would make a great game in a sick sort of way.

I'm not sure I've ever gotten off start, though there surely is some kind of a bonus for not killing myself trying to chase WH after he left OW's house and doing way too fast on icy suburban streets. (Though I lost all the points, because I lost him in the end -- he has 4-wheel-drive)

I also have participated in the Depression Diet--about 15lbs over all but dropped the first 10 in less than 2 weeks. Food tasted like dust, huh? I don't remember because I couldn't even put it in my mouth.

Since I was already underweight to begin with, this has caused me to figure out ways to strategically safety-pin darts in inconspicuous areas of my clothes. (Hey, I should be able to move one space forward just for being an accountant and being creative!)

I've stemmed the loss a bit by drinking all those "delicious artificially chocolate flavored" supplements (If the can says they're delicious, they must be--right???)

Anyway, I'm with whoever said they thought they'd only moved forward about 3 spaces and were now back on start. I drew the Plan B card 6 days ago, and I think as depressed as I am right now, since I can't move back further than start, I must have to lose a turn instead.

LL

LL, for an acountant I think your humor is pretty darn good. I like picturing you speeding through the streets, on icy roads, trying to intercept WH. I never did anything quite so dramatic. Although last Friday, talking to the OW was very soap operish. It would have been a great story line.

I'm glad you got some good laughs out of these posts. I think I'm going to add a new post suggesting people read this thread. God knows we all need some laughter during this time. Take Care!

Girls, What a humor. We all need it. I wished I had come earlier. But it is not too late.

I still don't know where I am. In terms of myself, I think that I made small moves, like 5 spaces ahead. Other than that, i don't know where my M stands. But I am determined to be strong and independent. I guess that gives me another 5 spaces ahead. I lost 15 lbs in one month, so i look like my D now. Guess that will give me 2 spaces. I was not overwight, but I can't lose more. I trust GOD, that will give me another 10 spaces ahead.

I will keep coming to play this game.

Okay, I need to chime in here. I've lost 40+ pounds, gone from size 12 to size 6, and I must say have managed to keep the big boobs! Not to mention that I have been running and my legs, which were always one of my best features, are looking pretty darn good!

My H can't take his eyes off me. I'm always catching him just staring! Too funny. If he keeps screwing things up, this bod may not be his for much longer, huh? Just kidding.

Victoria's Secret has been getting lots of business from me and it FEELS GOOD.

While food isn't much fun, its necessary, and I eat what I need to get by. I do need to start taking vitamins though, because I do worry about my health, too.

Rock on ladies!!!

Way to go Jazzeygirl! I'm glad you're H is trying to make you happy.

Mine still thinks that he's done nothing wrong, but he's sorry he's hurt me. I wish mine would come home with something nice. I didn't even get a card for Valentine's. And when he got back in town after being gone for 3 weeks, he brought my s a gift, but nothing for me. Oh well, I guess he was going to leave, no need to try to make me feel better. You know, its funny, because it really takes something really small to make my day. Oh, getting to depressing here. This is supposed to be the "make you laugh" thread.

So, shall I get something else slinky at Victoria's, wear it, make sure he sees it, then get dressed and go workout? Ha!