I have two questions I need to write down to ask my WH.

The first one is can I have our S for Easter? It is his weekend, but I really want him with me. For one I didn't cause this crap in my kids life and he doesn't deserve not to be here for the Easter bunny, or the egg hunt and all of that. But it wouldn't be nice to say it like that to WH even though I want to.....so how would any of you ask without LBing?


Second,

We have a function that we both go to every year, usually together. Well we both have tickets to it this year. I want to go very badly with my sister. WH will probably want to go with OW. None of our friends like him anymore, they have no respect for him, they are disappointed in him, and they are grossed out by his relationship with OW totally. Of course I would like to say this to him, but I haven't. They should say it his face instead of to me, but they haven't. It is our local fire department that does this function, I already paid 80.00 for the dinner ticket. How can I nicely ask WH and whore to stay home so I can go and have fun without that whole bunch of crap? Any suggestions?

Thanks,

NY

<small>[ March 23, 2004, 02:35 PM: Message edited by: HopefulinNY ]</small>

Here is the letter I have written to him, but it sounds so mean.

I would like to have both of my children for Easter, as we are planning family events as I do every year. We are having an Easter Egg hunt and, the Easter bunny will come and we will be having dinner also in the afternoon with old Grandma. If you would like to have him two weekends in a row or for Sat. that weekend let me know, otherwise I will expect him to be here for Easter as he should be with his sister.

I am also planning to attend the BFD dinner as I always do. Therefore it would be probably be best if you or her didn't attend. Most of your friends are my friends and half of Borg goes. Most of your friends(?) and co-workers and elders, although they don't say it to your face, are disappointed in you, have no respect for you, and are disgusted by your choices. They probably wouldn't want you there anyway.

I don't know how to say it nicely. Anyone?

Hopeful,

If you guys have a visitation schedule I'd just leave it at that. The agreement/schedule is in place so you don't have to talk to one another. Yes, I know you'd like both of the children with you but sometimes you just don't get what you want.

Regarding the event - originally I thought you each had a ticket and you wanted his so you could go with your sister. Your second post doesn't mention that at all. Who has the tickets? If you have both, take your sister. If he has both, let him do what he wants. If you each have one, go if you like or don't go, as it suits you. But it's just an event and not a valid reason to talk to him if you're in Plan B.

I'd definitely NOT say any of that "though no one says it to your face" stuff - there's absolutely no reason whatsoever to say any of it.

You are putting FAR too much effort into this.

I would like to have both of my children for Easter, as we are planning family events as I do every year. We are having an Easter Egg hunt and, the Easter bunny will come and we will be having dinner also in the afternoon with old Grandma. If you would like to have him two weekends in a row or for Sat. that weekend let me know, otherwise I will expect him to be here for Easter as he should be with his sister.
Don't use the phrase "my children". They are his also and you are married. Use "our" or "the" children.

Change the whole thing to,
"I will have the children on Saturday thru Wednesday afternoon.
I will drop them of or you can pick them up on Wednesday at 3 PM at my house.

I am also planning to attend the BFD dinner as I always do. Therefore it would be probably be best if you or her didn't attend. Most of your friends are my friends and half of Borg goes. Most of your friends(?) and co-workers and elders, although they don't say it to your face, are disappointed in you, have no respect for you, and are disgusted by your choices. They probably wouldn't want you there anyway.
This is pretty nasty. As much as you would like him to be "shunned" by everyone, it ain't gonna happen. Don't speak for everyone else.

Leave this out. You can go with your sister if you want and not have anything to do with him.

If you are in Plan B and are a t the same place as your spouse, you do NOT be rude under any circumstances. If he tries to talk to you, be polite. You don't need to carry on a conversation.

Okay, well I am going to try to have both my kids for Easter because my 3 year old is counting on having an easter egg hunt. So I will definitely ask about that.

I just will not go to the dinner, my sister can have the ticket and she can go with someone else. I do not want to be in the same room with him and the OW, I might rip both their heads off. It would be best if I didn't go in that case.

Thanks

NY

Good choice NY! Consider on that night having a banquet of your own with the kids or something. Like a mini-Thanksgiving.

(((((((HOPEFULINNY)))))