Good morning, RR. Hope you have a good day.

LOST,i justed posted to you on your thread, sounds like you and i both need to get some marathon sleeping done. but i do think you need it more than i do. i know i'm getting enough sleep even though i'm still tired. you on the other hand, i don't feel you are getting even some minimal amount of sleep. start looking at what options you have in getting more sleep. because if you can't take care of yourself you won't be able to take care of your kids and do what you need to do to work on your M. i think there is a fine line between keeping yourself busy so you won't dwell on things but at the same time overextending yourself so that you aren't able to take care of you.

continued strength and prayers to you.

for moderators to change title/subject line.

Done!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Thank you, i figured w/the new title that i wouldn't have to keep updating what session i was on (5, 6, 7, etc.).

RR, good morning. Hope you had a good weekend and a frsh start of the week. I've kept you in my prayers.

I have appointment with SH. Please pray that my Wh will talk to SH and open his mind. Please let the spirit set in SH and have inspiation to WH.

Rough -

Thinking of you this morning. Hope you had a good weekend.

Sending you hugs.

lost, just posted on your thread and just said a prayer for your session today. i thought of you often this weekend and wish you much strength.

heroswife, thanks for your thoughts and i was also thinking of you often this weekend and must admit was a little jealous too but a Godly jealous because i know what's happening now in your recovery is pleasing to God and that you and your H will be a true testimony for all. you said you were going to post a thread on your H's homecoming, what are you going to call it? haven't seen it yet but anyway i'm sure you have a lot to catch up today seeing as how you were very busy this weekend <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

prayers to you both and to all.

RR thanks for checking in on my post. I'm fine my W didn't show up so no worries. Like I posted in my thread I just don't care anymore. If my W make's the decision to ruin her life I will let her. My life will go on. I hope you had a good weekend I did. I kept busy cleaning and doing stuff around the house. I also hope you have a good day. I wonder if my W didn't show up because of my new I don't care attitude hehehe.

asking for special prayer for my H to talk to SH again. i haven't even asked him yet but SH feels about time to approach the subject again but my approach should be that it is a follow-up and a request from SH. i'm scared to ask my H for some reason. don't know if i should just call him up and get straight to the point or wait until i get him on the phone about something and then talk to him about it. i haven't talked to my H in probably 2 weeks. i still do the contact thing almost every other day like SH said but it usually involves me leaving messages on the phone, sending emails, or sending stuff in the mail.

anyway, please pray for God to put the words in my mouth to say what is needed to my H about talking to SH and that my H will be receptive and more seeds will be planted. i continue you to pray for all of you as well. thanks, RR

<small>[ May 17, 2004, 04:11 PM: Message edited by: roughroad ]</small>

RR, prayers for you. I kept praying and will keep doing that. WH did not talk to SH, not b/c he didn't want to, when I called SH, he was there which is unusaual. We ended up talking and had no time left for WH. I will make an appointment for WH again to see whehter he will be willing to talk.

It was an interesting session. I feel that SH was as confused as I did. Got to run, class will start in few minutes. Will report on my thread. Have a good evening.

please pray for God to put the words in my mouth to say
Done! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ May 17, 2004, 04:30 PM: Message edited by: Chris -CA123 ]</small>

thank you Chris, i do believe in the power of prayer and that's why i asked. see my new post i started today and comment if you have time. i just made an appt w/SH for tomorrow at 0930. they changed the times but the session length is still the same.

in my usual fashion i'm posting on my latest session w/SH today. all in all i've spent over $1400 on the sessions. staggering but i still want to make sure i'm doing everything i can.

anyway, my call today was in regards to a recent letter my H sent me and what i was supposed to do. you can read about that in my other thread if you haven't already. i brought SH up to date like i normally do and read him the letter my H sent and also the letter that starfish recommended i send. SH's advice was that i should write a letter back but it should be more of a rebuttal and not really address the things that my H said in his letter. SH said to say something along the lines of:

"that i received his letter and that yes, let's move forward together. after all we have come to realize about what we did wrong imagine what we can do in the future. we are so much more educated and aware of what doesn't work and we have paid dearly to learn this lesson. i realize our feelings for each other are different and as painful as it is i do get that you feel you don't love me. but feelings can be turned around. If you doubt that can happen then talk to someone who knows how it's done. our future will be different than the past."


SH said after i send the letter to give enough time for my h to have received the letter, read it and let some of the stuff sink in and then call my H. of course depending on what my H says then SH gave me some things to say. like "i believe there's an alternative that we haven't looked into yet that we can be happy together and that i'm not asking for a comomittment just and understanding and exploration of the facts." if my H says that he doesn't love me and doesn't feel that will change, etc. then i could say something along the lines that i believe that he would be happy if he was in love w/me but because he's sure he's not that 's the problem but for him to understand if we were in love w/each other then there wouldn't be a problem so the issue is, is it possible to be in love w/each other again?

i am supposed to still use time the best i can and that even though there are things i have to do like get my dogs back and have my stuff moved that i just do all i can for as long as i can and use those things that i can't control to help frame my time and energy of what i have to do. such as the whole selling of the house thing. he cannot sell the house w/out me and SH said he thinks that he can't even put it on the market w/out me but anyway. if my H were to call me and say we have an offer or that i need to sign such and such paperwork than i can say that "i'm not ready." and then if my H says something like, what would make you ready, then I can say that "what would make me ready is for you to become more educated on how to fall in love again and after learning that then determine wehter or not it's possible." i can continue to say that SH is a resource/reference if my H has any questions.

even though SH didn't answer my question, the stinker, i asked him just how many situations of the people he talks to work out. he goes into saying that we are dealing w/human behavior and a lot of times when there are kids involved that sometimes is a way to always link things together, and when kids aren't involved that it's even harder but not impossible. the point is still that of re-inforcment, getting someone to be motivated about something they are just not interested in or want to do. again, that is why time was so important. i also told SH that i was afraid that my H would use whatever he learns from me or from others like SH that it would be used to improve the relationship w/the OW.

SH said that even though there is a OP that is a secondary issue and the primary issue needs to be worked on. yes, it's true that while the OP is still in the picture that the WS is still w/them trying to build a foundation. but that was the problem, it was a foundation that was built in sand and no matter what was done that it would still continue to have problems and that the nagging of the conscience of the WS to use what they have learned from their first divorce is always going to be there and SH said to notice that he said "first" divorce because the R b/w the OP and the WS rarely work out even if they get M.

so i'm supposed to give myself or get some more energy if i'm still willing and continue to do what i'm doing and use time as long as i can when i can. and he didn't feel that me wanting my dogs was silly. that it's okay to gather legal information so that i'm prepared. he said he was pretty sure FL was a no-fault state (just my luck) but he wasn't sure of the specifics. that it's true to certain extent that you can't stop a D depending on what state you're in but i should still do what i could. raising objections and taking the most time i could. because there is a time factor in the R b/w by H and the OW. and maybe as time goes by that will begin to deteriorate undoubtedly.

so that's the update and i will continue to pray for my situation as i do for everyone here and i'll let you guys know what i say in the letter and when i send it. God bless, RR

RR, I know what you mean by money. My bill for last month on MB weekends, consoling sessions, hotel, air tickets, were about $2800. That is how much it cost for a bad relationship. But if our M can be saved and we are happy, I consider these money are well worth.

I read your other thread too. It is very good that you still have energy. Really there is not much we can do except looking up GOD. Prayers for you.

Well RR there's the word's we don't want to hear "when there's no kid's involved it's harder" I feel much better now. By the way I'm doing fine. I've just been busy at work deadlines are approaching.

yes, i know tinman, we continue to hear things we don't want to. but we can still learn and move on.

BTW, glad you're okay, i'm sure the driving thing was scary. our tinman was almost a crushed tin can <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> hug and prayer to you.

RR, good morning. Hope you have a good day. Prayers for you.

thanks for the prayers we ALL need them so badly. i started yet another thread this one to chris-CA123 for his advice of what to do given what has transpired this morning. my H has a session on monday to talk to SH and then I have one on tuesday w/SH. Why does SH have to be so expensive? i really can't keep this up for much longer.

anyway, please pray that my H will still talk to SH on monday because i probably will not be talking to him (my H) before then. you know you're in my prayers to as well as everyone here. i just wish i would stop messing up <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

prayer request for my H that he will keep his appt today w/SH, which is at 8am CST. that God will put the right words in SH mouth, that my H will be receptive, convicted, and his heart will be softened towards me again.

mine next session w/SH is tomorrow. thank you.

<small>[ May 24, 2004, 07:10 AM: Message edited by: roughroad ]</small>