WP: "I don't want to share my job, my work, my religion, my dancing, or my daughter with you."

WP: "I don't want you to touch DD. You're too tender with her." (DD was two months old at the time. I honestly STILL do not know how one can be too tender with a two month old baby.)

WP: "I'M REALLY, REALLY ANGRY AT YOU. BECAUSE YOU DID THE LAUNDRY." (On Mother's Day, while WP was out farting around for six hours instead of coming home with DD like she said she would.)

WP: "I decided a long time ago that you weren't the kind of person that I would want to marry and have kids with." (Four months after DD was born, four YEARS after we started trying to have a baby.)

WP's mom, after this all came out: "I think you have borderline personality disorder. You're being extremely controlling." (WP's mom is a psychologist. I wonder if I could sue her for malpractice... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> )

WP: "I hate you sending me flowers!! I hate you calling me!! Why can't you just give me some space???"

WP: "You're invading my space!!" (At the mall during a supervised visitation becaue WP had been told not to trust me with DD, four days after I moved out and two days after she revoked her consent to the adoption.)

WP: "You're INVADING MY SPACE!!!" (At the pediatrician's appointment that she told me about, five days after I moved out of the house and three days after she revoked her consent to the adoption.)

Ugh. I have no idea why I want to dredge these things up. This is the ones that are funny. The ones that were knives through my soul... I prefer to leave in the dark hell of last fall and winter.

"I've already divorced you in my head."

Anyone else? I've been meaning to ask this one to the group.

Hey Father of 1,

Howa been?!?!?!?! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Haven't posted to you in ages. Hope you and your little one are doing good. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Ok, here's my contribution of WS fogese (I know we did this type of thread several times in the past so mine are repeats). <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

d/d
WS: She (ow) is my friend.....(bs retorts, how come I don't know her and why did ow leave a msg saying 'I love you'???)..... ws: she is a really good friend. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

2 weeks later
WS: OW is prego. I have to be with her to take care of our (ws/ow) child. (No prego proof, ow about 6 weeks claiming she is having a girl, ow never been prego before according to her).
BS: Why are you more worried about a maybe baby vs your live son?
WS: I know you will take care of son. I have to take care of this child. OW doesn't know anything about children. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

BS: Are you sure OW is prego? Where is the proof?
WS: I am sure she is, she is showing all the signs. I know more about being pregnant than OW. I had to tell OW what her symptoms are. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

(Now WS thought he was a GYN. When did he make a big career move? )

BS: REALLY??? (OW was about 45 at the time and didn't know her own body?). <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

L.

<small>[ March 30, 2004, 11:39 PM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>

W: "I would have DV'd you 11 years ago, but I was afraid that you wouldn't finish your PhD."

ol' 2long: "Oh. So you had the A as a favor 2 me? Gee, THANKS!"

-ol' 2long

I pointed out that the "friendship" he had with OW (a young single woman) was not the same kind of "friendship" he had with the wife of one of our married couple friends - (since he said they were "just friends").

H: "Of course not! I wouldn't have that kind of friendship with X (our friend's wife) because she is married!"

Me thinks: (Ahem, and YOU are....?")

LIR

"OM's wife is a real *****." Crap, whatya tell OM about me?

"I don't think you really know what love is." (Before she knew I knew) If I am not demonstrating that right now to you, then you will never see that in me.

"I think he's my soulmate." No, right place at the wrong time, you were vulnerable.

"I can't let you live with me b/c I am in love with someone else." Not only do I love you, and I would hope you know that. But look at this from a pragmatic perspective, if we D, you will get the kids, find a job most likely not were I will be stationed, and I will have no relationship with my kids, what, I'll see them on holidays and b-days? I lose everything; you, my kids and a ton of money. You will just lose me and keep the kids. Not to mention how F'ed up the kids will be.

"I think you should find someone else that wants sex as much as you." If sex were all I wanted, why would I have ever gotten married? Trying to get me to be the bad guy.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by momto3boys:
<strong>Mine are pretty much like Starfishs'</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">They're all pretty much the same, huh?

More proof that there's only one, common Mothership they beam back and forth to. Arguments that there are multiple Motherships are, thus, incorrect. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Like Orchid, here are my favorite repeats:

Me: If you're not having an affair with OM, why did both you and him move out of your homes at the same time?

Her: YOU made me leave - because it was YOUR decision NOT to leave!!!!

and,

"I am NOT having an affair!!! I'm in love with OM!! WHAT PART OF THAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND????"

WW - I can't be boxed in.

WW - OM is not the monster you think he is.

WW - I am not a f**king machine.

WW - I want to keep seeing OM.

WW - You over analyze everything

WW - I'm sorry YOU feel that way.

WW - Why must we talk about this all the time.

Two things are pretty plain here...1) same crap over and over from WS's ...I swear you put them all in a room and appoint one spokesperson <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> and 2) if you love this OP so much why don't you divorce me and marry them?...in my case WS is still fence sitting <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> some good ones from him:

WS: I didn't spend one red cent on that family!
Me: to myself ...Found several receipts to the contrary.

WS: I just need space to clear my head!
Me: to myself...you have had six months to do this!

WS: I have been unhappy for 30 years! ( I think this one is a ploy they all say <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> )
Me: to myself...WOW ..how come it took you thirty years to figure this out <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

WS: The oldy but goody...I love you but not in love with you <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Me: to myself: Gee you seemed to love me all the times we made love right up until the time you left (and in several places and situations) but WS claims I made him feel not loved)...me: guess I thought making love was sharing intimate feeling with two spouses that loved one other...WS after having been with OW now feels all the kinky stuff is what matters <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ...sorry WS if I did not swing from the chandelers and spin <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

WS: She loves me and would take me with the shirt off my back!

Me: To myself: Well we shall see when she finds out money is very tight now ....

WS: She is not a whore ...I know her like no other...

Me: to myself: Well now let's look up the definition of a Whore in the dictionary...Hummm...sounds like Ow's characteristics to me...(she has broken up two marriages previous to ours)...

The bottom line here is this...all these excuses are to alleviate the guilt WS's are living with and point the blame to spouses...WS's need to take a hard look at their insecurities and low self esteem to get their lives back on track...it is up to them and no one can do this for them but themselves

Here's his,

"I didn't mean to fall in love with her, it just happened"

"You know this is hard for me too"

"You're 90% of what I want in a woman"

"I still want to be friends with you"

"I'm finally trying to be happy, how come you want to mess that up?"

and my personal favorite:
"She would be good for our son"

aaargh!

Me: You left why Did you come back?
H: I didn't want you to be mad at me!
Me: O.K. I'm not! Leave
H: What about the Kids!
Me: They are not mad! Leave!
H: I don't want to divorce you!
Me: Then why? Why the A?
H: Yeah I 2timed you put up with it!
Me: I'm not mad! I'm hurt so leave
H:I married you to young!
ME: O.K. be free! Leave
H: But I have to take care of you
ME: I was born alone! I'll make alone too!
H: I know you are a good woman I need my space!
ME: I know go and you will have plenty of space!
H: the only why I'll leave if you promise not to change the lock of the house again!
ME: Just Fly away! Go polinate another flower I'll wait for a butterfly I'm tired of the Bee

OW is probably thinking good thoughts for us right now.

You and OW would have been great friends under other circumstances.

We're just friends.

You're a strong person, you'll survive this.

In email to OW:

W badgered me and badgered me to get married until I finally acquiesced just to shut her up.

I want to let W down gently; I'll ignore her for 18 months and she'll find someone else and be happy about it.

If I see her one more time, it will be the last.

OW has nothing against you.

OW is staying married for the kids, I think she's noble.

OW showed me what it's like to feel passion and desire, I don't want to live without those now.

The last time I remember us having passion was our wedding night.

I married you to make my mother happy. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I think she's loney. (So am I!)

She needs someone to talk to to improve her English (She was from Brazil.)

I didn't lie about seeing her, I was avoiding a conflict like the one we're have now.

I didn't tell you because of the way you act.

You are always giving me sh*t about this. (DUH!!!)

You're always batching at me about this. I tell you, she's just a friend.

Well, I come home to you every night.

You are hormonal. You have to take HRT or I'm leaving.

I know you don't love me. Just say the word, and I'll get an apartment.

If YOU don't change, I'm leaving.

Well, I'll say this. At least SHE makes me happy.

Well, she called me up for lunch to discuss her PhD. I thought it was ok to see her if it was about her PhD.

After many months of asking if they were in love..Is that what you think? I knew you were mad, but I didn't know why.

Am I suppose to account to you for every second of my time.

I didn't tell you because I didn't do ANYTHING wrong!

(After months of cybering)

"You don't give me enough sex."

At the time we were having sex more than we ever were (about 2x/week or more). I wanted more, but he wasn't in the mood often (wonder why?) Now, a year after d-day and we have sex even less often and he seems to be happy with that...

I remembered another one...when trying to help me feel better...

"At least I don't beat you."
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

can't rember all but in referance to N/C

ME: you need to stop seeing /talking to OW
H: I have to let her down easy so she don't get upset I am with you
ME: You don't want ow to be upset ?
H: no she has low selfesteem this won't help her
ME: WHAT about hurting me ? and my selfesteem?
H; OH you are so strong
ME: no I am not

H: yes you are if, if you where doing this to me I couldn't take all of it I would kill you .
see how strong you are

ME <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> my head hurts

wait another

H : you wouldn't want me to be so heartless to you
ME: You are/where heartless to me
H; but ya always knew I loved you

H: I hated you when I started this A
ME; so why did you come back
H; I always knew I would I LOVE YOU I always new that .

MY HEAD HURTS AGAIN THINKING ABOUT IT LOL

wait another repeat <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Bear with me, this is good.

Setting:

WS was supposed to have a one-on-one with the local counselor we had met together just once before. This was supposed to be mid morning. WS called me at work and asked me to phone the counselor and try to switch the appt. to late afternoon since she got called to work due to a "problem" with one of her patients in the ICU.

I agreed, but was immediately suspicious, knowing OM was to be arriving back in town at the BWI airport that morning also. (Note: WS adamantly denied an affair with OM.)

I called OM's wife and asked if she knew the flight OM was coming in on. She gave me the flight # and time of arrival. She added that OM called her and said she didn't need to pick him up since he was gonna take a cab straight to work.

I high tailed it to the airport and got there barely ahead of the flight. This was before 9/11 so I could go to an adjacent arrival gate and wait behind a newspaper.

Sure enough, in a while, WS and OM walked down the concourse and headed towards the baggage claim. I followed about 30 feet behind. At the bottom of an escalator, they paused, embraced, and kissed.

After they got to the baggage claim, I left so as not to be seen. (I now regret not confronting them - a little. But that would have ruined the end of this story. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> )

Later in the day, I arrived back at home to find WS resting on our bed. Best to my recollection, this is how our conversation went:

Me: I couldn't get your appt. with [counselor] switched. I made you one for tomorrow.

Her: OK, thanks.

Me: How's your patient?

Her: Doing OK now.

Me: Did you have any trouble getting to the hospital? Was the traffic that bad that you had to go via Baltimore?

Her: What? What do you mean?

Me: I mean, why did you go to BWI instead of directly to the hospital?

Her: WHAT DO YOU MEAN???

Me: I mean, didn't you really go to BWI to pick up OM instead of going to the hospital - and that's why you wanted to cancel the appt.?

Her: NO I DIDN'T!!!!

Me: Oh, you didn't meet OM at Gate C34 arriving on USAir flight XXX from Pittsburgh at 9:34??

Her: NO I DIDN'T!!!!

Me: And you didn't stop at the bottom of the escalator and hug and kiss?

Her: IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!

Me: Oh, OK, guess I was just imagining it.

She never went to the counselor.