I've posted before but under a different name couldnt' remember password. I believe hubby had Ea with coworker overseas. Cannot prove it. Gifts were bought, promises to me broken, piece of clothing same as her bought for me(this took some detective work)he denies,dinners bought for her(all coworkers do this for each other however he had never done it before with female), lots of time spent,used exact same words to describe relationship yadayada yada. Ok I have never been able to prove. they are no longer in same area however could be communicating without my knowledge. Ok I worked plan a while spouse was gone made changes in myself have seen changes in hubby past couple months.

Now we have lived in same house long time. Next door neighbor single. With hubby approval neighbor helped with very few things while hubby was gone as it wasn't right to have him in house without hubby. Almost always stood outside to talk. Now spouse has been making comments about neighbor and I. Neighbor came over for party for hubby and brought something that I like as did several other people here. Hubby got this look on his face and continues to give me a hard time about me being so special. Spouse has only made one other comment when we first moved here this is almost a decade later. even while spouse was overseas spouse would tell me it was ok for neighbor to do things with us but never we did. Why the turn around now? Is he doing this on purpose to show me what it feels like? I pointed out to spouse that neighbor and I have never done the things he did with his friend. Any suggestions. I also told spouse that neighbor and I have the same relationship he and this other person has had. Spouse didn't even react to it.

<small>[ April 07, 2004, 01:46 PM: Message edited by: trying2believe2 ]</small>

please any ideas, suggestions anything

I'm not sure there is a big dilemma here.

Your H may be suspicious because he knows what it's like to keep secrets from a spouse.

Trying to figure out your H's motives while he continues to be less than totally honest .... is too exhausting. Save your energy.

Assume your H is just covering his butt in one way or another .... and live an open and honest life yourself.

Allow your H to carry the stress of maintaining his own deceit .... all by himself.

He accuses, you live openly .... it's all in his imagination.


Pep

<small>[ April 07, 2004, 02:43 PM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

Pep
Thank you for your response. You made me stop and think. Spouse has made many comments over the past couple weeks about me not being happy and that my life has not turned out the way I wanted it too. He is gone alot and I have told him in the past that I don't like it but accept that part of his life. I also told him that I'm trying to find my way back to him after the lies and his choice of this other person over me. He feels it should be done and over with. Unfortunately it never will be because he won't admit the truth. Sometimes I wonder if this is all worth it.