firefly,

I'm wrapping up my second week of Plan B. Here is how my transition from Plan A to Plan B went. It was seamless, and I think it had the effect intended.

My MIL said WW was surprised and her response was "...why didn't he tell me ahead of time what he was doing?..."

While I haven't heard from her since, I think it had the "hey, what a minute....." effect I had intended.

Good luck,
Ethan

<small>[ April 30, 2004, 01:48 PM: Message edited by: thefurnitureman ]</small>

Firefly - I think you have been doing a marvelous Plan A for a long time. When you are ready, you will go to Plan B. And often Plan B is what brings them back to the marriage.

^^BUMP^^
^^^ARK^^

When I got home on Friday, WH had moved out some of his clothes. I spoke with him on Saturday on the phone. He is still very mad about me talking with OW's mother. He wanted to go on living in the house (now moving to another bedroom) until he had the money to get a car and move out. I invited him to come over so we could talk face to face.

He came over and I told him that he could stay at our house only if he stopped seeing OW. He said that wouldn't happen. He said he definately didn't want to be at our house, but he wasn't sure he wanted to be at hers. So I told him he would need to go live with her then if he wouldn't end it. H was cold and distant. It was very hurtful. Before he left I gave him my Plan B letter with a picture of us taken at my parents on Easter day. He said he would be back on Sunday to get the rest of his stuff.

He didn't come on Sunday. I am guessing he will pick up his things today while I am at work.

Two days in Plan B. I am worried that going to Plan B with him already mad at me, wasn't good. However, I've been by his side for over seven months of this. I keep telling myself that even if he was home with me right now, it is only a fake marriage, because he is still seeing someone else. No matter how good it felt when he was with me, it wasn't pure. I cry a lot and I pray a lot.

firefly

<small>[ May 03, 2004, 09:34 AM: Message edited by: firefly73 ]</small>

Just had to say that I just got my contract for the next fiscal year and I got a $1,018 raise. I'm happy with that. Hopefully, it will help with the finances.

firefly...
I am happy for you...

and this has nothing to do with "dropping his sorry butt"...
or "kicken him to the curb"...

this is all about you claiming that being a part of a triangle is not what you desire in a marriage...

this is claiming a boundary that speaks the meaning of love and marriage vows...

much strength to you...

post on surviving plan b thread...gather strength...

ARK

firefly, I have heard almost all these same coments. I had spoken to the OWH on several occasions and my H said that I betrayed his trust and confidence!! Can you believe that? What a crock...just because OW has everyone believing he was mean and nasty to her. They, WS, will say anything when they aren't getting their way. Anyway, I don't have any suggestions for you except to keep posting here. I am new at this and sounds like I am at the same place you are. My H does not stay out late anymore though and has said he will try not to contact OW anymore. I am giving this till school is out and then if contact is still being made...Plan B.

Thank you Ark and Hurt for your comments.

H didn't get his things today, when he came to mow the grass. Interesting?!

firefly

stay dark firefly...

no comments
no contact...

can you mow the lawn yourself from now on...

ark

<small>[ May 04, 2004, 05:46 AM: Message edited by: ark^^ ]</small>

how are YOU doing in plan b...

ark

H called yesterday morning while at work "just to say hello." I was caught off guard and was just brief and polite.

H then called in the afternoon after I got back from my Weight Watchers meeting to see how I did. I was happy he remembered, but suprised he called again. He said that I was beautiful before I started losing weight (78 lbs. now).

I didn't expect him to call so much so I was not prepared to say anything to him about the contact. I thought about it and will say to him nicely "Honey, I really enjoy talking with you. However, I need you to end your relationship with OW because it is hurting me. Then we can talk all you want. If you aren't willing to end your relationship, then please don't call me."
How does that sound?

I'm doing ok with plan B though. Except, last night when I went to bed I cried so hard. I thought about how I was laying there all alone and how he was lying in bed next to her. It was an awful feeling. I feel like I lost and she won.

H works as a security guard where I work on Wednesday evenings. I have to be a work so I will probably see him. I am not sure how to handle that. I will try to avoid him, but I don't want to ignore him if I do see him. Any advice?

firefly

<small>[ May 05, 2004, 10:51 AM: Message edited by: firefly73 ]</small>

no contact...his phone calls prove the letter has an impact...now impact him with your actions...

firefly...I garuntee you he is way more lonely and lost laying next to an OP then you are by yourself in the bed...

plan B...means NO CONTACT!!!!
NONE..
get tough

ark

any good readings/postings on Plan B?

H called again today. He wanted to pick the check book up from the house to pay for his medicine. I was flabergasted and said ok.

Then, I called him back and said nicely that I thought that since he was living with OW now that they should be paying for his medication instead. Additionally, I said that I want him to end the relationship with her, otherwise he had to live his life with her. He said that maybe he should just put his money his separate account and I agreed. What should I have done?

firefly