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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 11
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 11 |
I was asked today, what I was thinking when I did had my A's. I really don't know what I was thinking. I thought if somebody could tell me what their thoughts were, it might help me find some answers. I sure don't have any.
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 376
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Member
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 376 |
That's a question I think all BS's would like an answer to. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 676
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Member
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 676 |
lost cause...as a FWW, I can only say, I wasn't thinking!!!! It's kind of like the woman who killed her children and claimed insanity. Duh, of course she was insane or she wouldn't have done that. The same "reasoning" applies here. What I did by having an affair was the most "out of character" thing I have ever done in my life. I was never promisicous before my marriage or since, until this <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,455
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,455 |
Four yrs ago, I had an affair. Thinking becomes very skewed. You could write a book about what a WS is 'thinking' but it's more about what they are feeling. The thinking comes after the feeling and the thoughts are engineered to fit the feelings.
To be sure it's not the same in all cases. But in most of the cases that I've seen, it boils down to unmet emotional needs. It was that way when I had my affair. It was that way when my wife had (is having) hers.
I've been told not to bother trying to understand the WS thought patterns. That makes sense. Nothing about any of the decisions my Wife has made over the past 5-6months makes any sense if I try to understand her thinking. It all makes perfect sense if I try to understand what she was feeling and why she might feel that way.
Does that make any sense?
dewt
<small>[ April 12, 2004, 08:45 PM: Message edited by: dewt ]</small>
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 676
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Member
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 676 |
great point Dewt! It is all able the "feelings" because the brain is certainly not working during that time.
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 676
Member
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Member
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 676 |
dewt. do you mind me asking what the status is of your W's A right now?
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,455
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Member
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,455 |
I currently live (with our Son) about 4 hours away from our old town. I know for sure there is still contact between Dylan and OW. I slightly doubt that they are still having sex. I very specifically don't ask too many questions though. Mostly I just trust my gut.
She is visting over the Easter holidays. I have an update coming after she leaves and I have time to sit and type.
dewt
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