This is my first post, It is comforting to know people are in the same situation you are and are here to support and encourage you.
On January 7th my husband told me he has been having an affair since October. I knew immediately who she was. I always had a bad instinct about her, she was always trying to get involved with my husband and his famiily but I though it was just me because she was married to wonderful man. The only reason my husband told me is because her husband found out. He has filed for divorce.
At first my husband and I were trying to work things out, but he told me everytime he looks at me all he saw was the hurt he cause. I forgave him, because I knew they OW was malipulating him and playing games. I know he is also to blame and so am I. I was working two full time jobs to make ends meet, my husband lost his job in the Winter of 2002. He started his own business but it is a struggle. My time was limited, she knew that, that's when she made her move. My husband was feeling down and depress at time and the extra attention she was giving him, I believe he mistook for love. My husband told me he tried several times to break up with her, but she refused to let him go.
My in-laws are wonderful and forgiving people. They are the only family I have. Both parents have past and I don't have any siblings. They were very forgiving of the OW because she was sending flowers, letters and having lunches with them telling them she was going to counseling and working things out with her husband. They told me just to relax and give it time, she was no longer in our lives.
In March, my husband decided to move out, so we can work on ourselves, so we can be better spouses to each other. We talk on the phone, but I haven't seen him. Until one day I went shopping and I ran into him shopping with the OW. I was so hurt, I just said calmly how could you and walked away. He tried to walk towards me and called me sweatheart. I just turned gave him a look and continue walking. I did make eye contact with the OW, but she wasn't worth my time or effort. My husband called to tell me her car broke down and they were out buying jumper cables. I told my in-laws, they were hurt, both my husband and the OW told them they were not seeing each other. My MIL believes she is all wrong for him and she will never be part of our family. One thing my MIL hates are liars. She gave my husband a choice family or the OW, he choose the OW.
Also the first question I ask my huband when he told about the affair, was he using protection. He told at first and then he said she was on the pill and that he didn't need to use protection anymore. He told me she did show him the pill but I asked "was there any missing? Did you actualy witness her taking the pill" He said No. I know she trying to get pregnant, but at least he is now aware of it, but I don't know if he is doing anything about it. He is not in his right mind right now, so who knows.
I believe right know, I have to work on myself, since, I can't do anything right now to change his mind or his situation. It is nice to know I still have to love and support of his family. I have been with my husband for thirteen years, nine of them married. We don't have any children. Even though we tried last year. I'm trying to stay positive and believe sooner or later he will see her for what she really is, just like my in-laws did. I just have to have faith, but it is so hard since I usually cry myself to sleep , missing him and wishing he was here.
