Never in my whole life have i expected to feel the emotions of seeing them together. My hands shook and my knees tremble. I could barely punch my friend number on my HP.

I saw WH and OW walk into a curtain shop together. I was with my colleague at that time so i told her to walk ahead. I went back to the shop and pass by to confirm if it was OW with him or not. It was HER!

For a moment i had all those crazy thoughts of making life hell for both of them. I wanted to create havoc in that shop!!

I did not know what to do. I was angry and betrayed all over again. Then i called my friend. She told me to walk away. I said i could not. Then she told me to go inside the shop and say hi to WH THEN walk away. I did the latter.

I walk into the shop. OW saw me first then quickly glance away. I tap WH on the shoulder. He look up and said hi. I said hi...touch his cheek and walk away. I WALK AWAY!!!!!

I cried all the way home from work. I am okay now but i think i will cry again tonight.

All those feelings comes up again. I am trying so damnest best to control it. But there it is...again.

Later he text message me this...I was with her at the furnishing house strictly for work purpose only. U have very good PI, i must say. To find out so quickly, that is.

I text message him back saying that GOD was my PI. HE has a strange way of doing things when you ask for something.

I remembered praying to GOD just yesterday...asking him not to let me be blinded when he sends his help.

The feelings of divorcing is HERE again. I am so mad. I am so hurt. There is so much pain. All WS are horrible horrible persons to make so much pain for another person.

I have imagine so many times of seeing them together but nothing prepared me for the emotions that comes with it.

I don't know where i am now. I was so strong yesterday. Now i feel so completely wreck! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

<small>[ April 26, 2004, 04:49 AM: Message edited by: zizzycool ]</small>

Later I message WH saying...he has a choice to go out with many other colleague if he wanted to

He text message back saying that he was with her because she was going to introduce him to a new client for business.

Then i message him...why he wanted to stay married to me.

i am beginning to break my plan B here, i know but I cannot help it.

Now he message back saying he wanted to talk to me. I wrote back saying i am not alright now. Maybe later.

I am NOT alright. I have been crying for one hour now. I am wallowing in the pit again. Seeing them together really did it for me.

Should i let him tell me the answer why he wanted to stay married to me? Should i let him talk? Should i listen? Will it be different this time??????? Will his talk this time be the turning point in my life???? Or will it be another disappointment? I am not ready for this. I am not even ready for recovery. But is this a sign from the above?...Is this what HE wants me to do? I am so confuse at the moment. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

zizzy, I would refer him back to your Plan B letter and tell him when he ends his affair with OW, then you can talk. Until that happens, there is nothing to discuss and you are moving on.

I am sorry you had to see them together, zizzy!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Never in my whole life have i expected to feel the emotions of seeing them together. My hands shook and my knees tremble. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">So sorry that you had to go through this...I too dread the day I run into WS and OW...so far this has not happened but expect there will be a time and I have thought about how I will deal with this...I think just hold my head high and keep right on walking by...they are the ones who are commmiting Adultry...I have done nothing wrong...I suspect to see this is just about as bad as DD...you did well Zizzy and hope I can conduct myself with the same dignity when my time comes

<small>[ April 26, 2004, 07:11 AM: Message edited by: New Outlook ]</small>

Zizzy -

Don't break Plan B. My WH had a thousand lies and excuses, and told me OW was out of the picture. He even wanted to reconcile and wanted to get together to talk about it.

That is when I went to his house and caught them in bed together. I knocked on the bedroom door and said "Larry, this is your wife, you wanted to talk about reconciliation, well here I am."

After that I have not talked to him about our relationship at all. There is no point in it. You should stay in Plan B. You will hope that WH is different, but as long as he is with OW, he is not.

Melody & believer,

I broke Plan B...for the sake of MB. I ask WH if he would agree to come back MB for support and he said he might. He doesn't go online and he is unsure how to so i decided to teach him. MB forum is my only hope so i broke plan B for that.

I took him to an internet cafe and showed him how to search this site and how to log on. He read the addicted thread and found Dadto3boys posting very amusing.

I hope he will go on and search for answer here on his own.

Later we had a little discussion and the fog is still there. He said the same old thing. He knows what is the right thing to do but is able to give up the girl and did not want to hurt her...blah blah blah. i listen...no love busting. I told him i was moving on.

He said that OW knew of this meeting tonight and was not so crazy about it. She text message him twice. The 1st he ignored and the second he answered. WH told me that OW is very jeoulous of me 3 times the whole evening and that she is worried whenever he is with me. Why does he keep telling me that? What does he want me to say that i am happy about it? I told him that i did not care about her or what she feels like. I did not want to know.

Well...talk a lot...the only thing i can say is that he is definately still not ready to give her up. So its back to plan B for me, i guess. I was okay even after the meeting. I guess i no expectation from that meeting so that is nothing to be hurt about.

It is so frustrating to see him still stuck in the fog. It doesn't look like its going to end sooner for me.

I pray he comes to MB for support. This is site and your support is my only hope now.

He is also worried about my moving on attitude that he kept asking me if i was seeing someone. I told him i cant tell him that <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> .

Hugs to you...

{{{{{{{{zizzy}}}}}}}}}}

I have only seen my WH and OW together once, and it was months ago when he was still living at home, and I drove by her house and found his truck there. It was very, very painful sitting there trying to talk to him with her sitting by his side, her arm around his neck.

When I left, I was so upset that even though the roads were icy, I didn't care. I was driving like a complete maniac. Thank the Lord, I was kept safe and alive.

I do hope your WH is interested enough to check out the MB board. Mine won't ever, I'm sure.

LL

lordslady...hugs to you too.

I am beginning to wonder if there is a plan C. I want to make OW some more jealous and get her to love buster. Do you think it is wise to break plan B off and on to meet with Wh...meet his needs and remind him of what he is missing. At the same time i still go on living with my life. Maybe a meeting of once every two weeks or so...i don't know what else to do.

I think i can handle plan A better now than back three months ago. I was not strong then and i had too much expectation. Now i know the waters and i am very confident i can swim better. Too bad i cannot turn the clock back to do a good plan A. It is too late for me.

So is there a plan C?

It can't just be plan B then plan D????

I definately fell off the wagon tonight.

He text message me saying that OW end it with him. Immediately i called him over to find out the details. Yes, OW did say she will end it because WS could not decide. But i honestly doubt she will keep to her word. He told her that we spoke last night and that i told him to decide soon. She asked him to decide too. Of course WH could not decide...so she said she will decide. She said she will leave him but while he was with me this evening, she text message him more than 5 times!!!

I told WS, OW won't leave him and that she is one of those clingy type. i bet with him that OW won't leave WS

I told him that he has to decide soon. WS said he wanted to wait it out until the end of the road. I told WS the end of the road is actually deciding who you want, me or OW. I said to WS that he is selfish for only thinking of his own feelings. I told him he wants both of us and he wants to keep it going as is for as long as he can. He realise that i am right. He knows he needs to do the right thing. And so the story goes...

I also found out that EA was actually a PA like back in July last year. It hurt to hear that. I was lied at for that long.

All this contact is taking a big toll on me. I have to struggle back into my Plan B. I should never have broke it in first place but i really wanted to do something to end it.

I honestly thought that the end of the road is near when he text message saying OW wanted to end it. Now i know it is too good to be true. I really hope she will get more demanding and all this will take a toll on OW so she will eventually end it.

I told WS either he divorce me or end it with OW. I said i dont care anymore. I want the suffering to end.

I'd probably said a lot of wrong things tonight but i honestly dont care. I am really tired of waiting.

He looked at me in the eye and said he could not divorce me...then thought awhile and said he cant lose her either. I told him divorce me tomorrow then tell her that. Then tell OW to tell her mom the truth. I told WS there is NO WAY OW parents will allow you to marry their daughter.

After he went home he text message me the same old i dont deserve you story.

I will be so glad if he divorces me soon. I am not crazy about recovery. In fact this morning i woke up thinking i really dont want this man back into my life.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by zizzycool:

I honestly thought that the end of the road is near when he text message saying OW wanted to end it. Now i know it is too good to be true. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am surprised you don't see the trap here.

"OW wanted to end it".... you never break your Plan B because the OP decides to break off with your spouse!!!

You break your Plan B when your spouse decides HE/ SHE misses YOU soooo much .... and being married to YOU sooo much .... and agrees to the "conditions of surrender" ... as Mortarman usually phrased it.

Why should you pay attention to what crazy things this clingy OW says??

Plan B again.... you lost ground, but you can recover your plan B .... only if you are determined enough to wait for the conditions of surrender.

Strength and courage.

Pep

Thank pep...i did not know there is a rule in plan B of don't listen to "OW end it" story. I guess i fell into that trap. I was skeptical but yet hopeful. I wont fall again.