i'm going to be leaving shortly but from what you have just said about the counselor it sounds like she is trying to manipulate the situation because of what you told her. in other words, i don't remember you saying that the counselor has really been talking to you about your daughter's suicidal ideation, etc. it was as if it was only brought up once you decided not to bring the daughter back to her.

how often was your daughter seeing this counselor?

i don't think anything will come of her reporting you but i know just something added to your list. (chin up). if it were me, i would see if i could get your daughter in w/another counselor. like i said check out the Christian Counselor referral system from focus on the family, you can call or do the form online. i think calling them might be better and faster. you can explain the situation. that way if this "psychotic" counselor "reports" you then you can show that you agree that your daughter needs to be in couseling, etc. and that you have her scheduled for an appt on such and such date.

get your pastor involved too. this counselor will need to substantiate that she has made it known to you that your daughter's condition is serious before now. again, it just seems like now that you don't want your DD to see her anymore that she is telling you she is suicidal. there's a lot that goes into being suicidal. i would think the more accurate term in your DD's case is depression. i mean, good grief, would your DD even know how to commit suicide? i doubt it. there's a big difference in thinking that you want to die to make things feel better and actually planning it. also you have to have the means to do it, and if this has been a pattern of thinking in your DD then your counselor would need to prove that. hope she doesn't "doctor" her notes.

many prayers to you LH, but you can do it, you are capable of more than you ever dreamed, imagine how you would have handled this situation 7 months ago, probably not very well. tell you DD that they are many people praying for her too. on another note, animals can be very therapeutic. Pet therapy is a documented and well studied form of reaching out to those who don't want to be reached and having a pet like a dog or a cat could help you DD a lot and in turn help you. for my psych rotation in nursing school i chose pet therapy as my project, I got an A.

i probably won't be able to email again until saturday if i come into work or monday. but know i'm praying for you as well as everyone else here. your sister in Christ, RR

Believer, are you out there?

lostnhurt - Yep, still here.

I feel that I lost orientation, don't know where I am going now. I don't love him, but one the other hand, I want this M to work. I feel that I have no desire to anything, including saving this M. I hope I can find a place that I don't know anyone, and anyone is nice, but has no feeling.

lostnhurt - This too will pass. Did WH find out about liver function tests?

Yes. I left him a message, he didn't call me back, but he call the Dr.

We only talked about 3 sentences this evening. My head hurts too much, I went to bed, then my sister called from China(not the one in US). I got up to talk to her, now I couldn't sleep. The 3 sentences were:

Me: Did you get my message?
WH: I called Dr.
Me: Why didn't you returned my call?
WH: Your H's liver is damaged.
Me: Are you Ok?
Me: Well, the worst is that I die.

Well hang in there. Your anti-D's should kick in soon. I hope that your WH will go see the doctor and stop the meds. This may be his wakeup call.

I don't know if he will wake up or not. He is like your Wh, becoming a big fat toad now.

Good night, Believer. Hope you have a sweet dream.

Does anyone know how to end the emptyness, lonelyness and hopelessness feeling?

I trid so hard to go out. Just went to VBS, then went out to lunch with bunch of people. Now back to home, all those feeling is pouring back to me.

There will be a father's picnic in our church. I asked WH whehter he wants to go, he said I don't have obligation to go. I said I just asked. If I go, there will be no father. If I don't go, I will be left alone if WH zoom off. I hate this life.

Hmmm. Can you make other plans for fathers' Day? Maybe you and the kids can go out and do something new.

I don't know how to make the kids happy for the Father's day without their father. I will see my father either tomorrow or Sunday, depending how things are going.

My kids were raised without their father, so I never got too excited about father's day. I would still plan something.

Have them make cards for him. Then if he does his now famous disappearing act, have alternate plans.

Believer, I feel that I am exauhsting every activity just to keep boat not sinking. It is extremely tiring. I have to entertain the kids for 2 months without school. S just told me that it seems time goes much slower without school. But he also told me that he doesn't miss school. Believer, you are strong. You raised two kids by yourself. Can i do that?

Well, did a lot of driving today. Went to VBS, sent and picked up S and D to different friends houses. I guess that will be what i am doing for the rest of the summer. S just asked me whether there is VBS tomorrow. It is so much fun. After dinner, we are going to church again for the closing.

I finally got D an emergency appointment with a phychiast. She will be seen tomorrow 5pm, but in a far away place. We finally get off with the other conselor.

I took care of my kids from the time they were 3 and 2 months until they were 13 and 10. It was not easy, but I decided we were going to have a great family life, and we did.

I do think your WH will be back, but in the meantime it would be nice to have lots of fun activities.

Believer, you are so nice to replying for everyone. You really have a good heart.

We didn't go to church b/c D didn't want to. I don't want to leave her home alone. How I wish WH is home and we all go to church togehter. I prayed and asked for prayer for him today in the church. How do you know he will be back?

So we had a long dinner. We had crawfish which kids like. D made chilli yesterday and they finished them tonight. Now we are watching the movie Big Fish. I did try to have a life without WH. I just feel that we are not physically active enough. I am so tired all the time.

lostnhurt -

I feel like your WH will be back, because you are too pretty, too sweet, too smart, and too wonderful a wife and mother for him to leave you.

He still has not left. Hmmmmmm. What's up with that? At some level, he knows he would be making a big mistake.

You need to move forward, and do things with your kids. Since I was the only parent for my boys, I got busy. I learned to fish and took them with me. Now they love fishing, and go constantly, and always want me to come with them.

I took them camping by myself. It was hard, but they loved it. There are all kinds of things you can do with your kids - do them.

Thank you Believer. But in his eyes, I am ugly, bad, sexless, and worthless.

I will take the kids to do things if he is not around. But when he is around, I ask him to go but he refuses, do I still go without him? I feel like I know nothing now, not confident. Everything I do, I am afraid that something may bot be right.

Yep, your self-esteem is low. Go places without your WH. Go with your kids. Just make yourself do it.